Archive

Posts Tagged ‘wisdom’

seeking wisdom

I have academic crushes on two scholars: Neil Postman (deceased, but “conversing” with me well after his death) and Nassim Nicholas Taleb. From my readings so far, these two men are unparalleled in the crystal clarity with which they understand human faults as seen through a lens of love. Even when cranky, they’re insightful, articulate, and compassionate in their embrace of all of what it means to be human.

Also, they make me laugh.

So: academic crush.

I love it when someone says or writes something that gives me a chance to contemplate either Postman or Taleb. This morning, that unexpected prompt came from one of my earliest blogging friends, Victoria. In “I’m going to stop,” Victoria explains that (and why) she’s done with news.  Read more…

Advertisements

seeds

sometimes
people give me
seeds of wisdom
that make no sense
to me
(yet).

i (try to)
tend them
while seeking
the right place
to plant them
so they
grow
well.

usually i hold
each seed
for months,
even years,
before i know
where (and
how) to
plant
it.

last wednesday,
someone handed me
a seed, and i thought,
“huh. i think i know
what to do
with this.”

(spoiler:
nope!)

then, on friday,
only two days
later,

i found
exactly
where to
plant
that
seed,
and i was
grateful.

without that seed,
i might have
breathed fire
instead of planting
what may
someday
become
a flower

sometimes,
maybe, i ought
consider not
breathing fire,
instead
setting aside
space in my garden
until i’ve found
just the right
seed for
planting
there

Books, knowledge, & wisdom

Yesterday, I read my two-year-old a children’s book about killer whales. I couldn’t help smiling while I read.

As an eighteen-year-old, I’d researched killer whales from islands in British Columbia. As a thirty-eight-year old, I read about them to my own little boy a couple thousand miles away from where I’d once watched in awe as they played.

acrosswater

I was able to read Littler J the book because of bookstore’s going-out-of-business sale. My husband and I picked up two boxes full of delightful reads. We’ll be busy for months, just from those books!

There’s knowledge and (with introspection) wisdom alike to be gained from books; I found bunches of both in another of the books I picked up on Saturday.

When you and I read, listen, and seek information no matter the obstacles, we are mighty.

With love by owls

mom n d lightMy mom lived long enough to meet her first grandchild, my older son, Li’l D. I rejoice this 95 of 100 days.

I am adrift the other five days. Instead of feeling blessed that she met the one grandchild, I feel distraught that there are at least six more she’ll never meet.

I never know when the switch will flip. Sadness swells in my heart without clear source until some bit of conversation or memory jars me into understanding: This is missing.

wpid-img_20150622_150427.jpgMy big boy, the five-year-old my mom only knew as a five-month-old, starts first grade next week.

He’s thrilled, and I am, too.

But she should be here thrums relentless in my heart.

I was five when I started first grade, too. My mom pushed for me to be in first grade because she knew I was ready for it. I know my own five-year-old is ready for it, despite having a birthday a few days on the wrong side of California’s first grade birthday cutoff.

As Li’l D fetched first grade school supplies off supermarket shelves a week ago, she should be here pulsed through me with my every heartbeat. Read more…

Categories: Death, Family, Grief, Love Tags: , , ,

Giving up on never giving up

Loopy with tiredness, my five-year-old son insisted he could and would finish his homework. His assignment: to write numbers 1-100.

He’d been stopped up at 79 for several minutes.

“Count out loud, sweetie,” I told him.

“78, 79, 90,” he replied. He meant it, too.

“Try again,” I encouraged him. “Remember it’s 7, 8, 9, not 7, 9, 10.”

“78, 79 … 49?” he asked, flopping around beside me.
Read more…

The trouble with willpower

mightyMy life changed two years ago today.

The change started small, but became bigger and scarier over the days and months that followed.

I didn’t accept it. I was invincible! I could do anything I wanted, if I only wanted it enough. Anything. It was only a matter of willpower.

Then Reality interjected herself. I remember clearly the moment I saw Reality unadorned by my own desires for her. My sister sounded so anxious talking with me and dropped off our phone call so abruptly, I saw that my perseverance wasn’t changing external circumstance. It was destroying my body in ways that were devastating my mind.

There, wrapped up in Reality’s too-tight embrace, I saw what had to change: me. I had to stop believing I could do or be anything. I had to stop nurturing the delusion that every single problem I faced could be overcome by my will alone. Read more…

Sweet, stinkless freedom!

Y’all know I love making my terrible stick figure drawings.

Only writing a post in my car could keep me from adding stick figures to certain posts. Like yesterday’s, “Bullshit/No bullshit.

In fifteen minutes, I have illustrated that post with my … crappiest … drawings to date.

Enjoy?

It’s common to come across big ol’ piles of B.S. in day to day life. I do this often.

some bs

I have typically responded with great care and sensibility. Read more…

%d bloggers like this: