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Posts Tagged ‘future’

believing in you

My three-year-old awakened me with howls for water. He’s got a flu, and told me after he’d sipped water that his “room is tipping over.” I explained that the room isn’t actually moving; he’s something we call “dizzy.”

He’s asleep again, but it’s hard for me to fall asleep again after being startled awake by howling. I ended up reading my last post, about Paul Farmer’s Pathologies of Power. And, oh, boy, did I get its tone wrong! Read more…

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collective success

I recently had a few conversations that left me reeling. They reflected visions of success that, I realized, I rejected completely and absolutely. Viscerally.

This left me with the questions: Why did I reject that vision of success? And given that I rejected it wholesale, what was my own vision of success?

The answer is tied, in part, to the 150 or so books I’ve read since August of last year. Somehow, I couldn’t find the answer to these questions in pages. I had to find it in conversation.

We live in a world of finite resources. Some people are granted access to those resources; others are deprived of them. Generally, those who have access have military or other kinds of power legitimating that access. In short, they retain access by force. Read more…

My last day

Today I say farewell to one job.

I say farewell to the things that frustrated me and the people who made me laugh.

I say farewell richer in knowledge and friendships than when I began. I smile at the goodness of what I will take with me after today, most especially friendships with one of the two best managers I have ever had and the treasure who inspired this post.

I am smiling wider still at the prospect of all that is to come: a little extra time with my babies, whom I’ve barely gotten to see most my long days away, and steps toward fulfilling my own long term objectives that have very little to do with paychecks. I will be pinching pennies while relishing presence and prospects.

It feels amazing to follow my husband’s lead and, for once, take not the safe route but the right one.

I am not my work. Indeed, I feel poised to discover who exactly I am meant to be.

What uncertainty! What joy!

Hand in hand: much better than either in the garbage can!

Onward

Working toward a different future

I watch my twelve-week-old son sleep in the middle of my bed. His belly rises and falls ever so slightly it sometimes looks like he’s a doll.

For the last twelve weeks, I have been with him most his waking moments. I’ve watched him learn to smile, laugh, and roll over. I’ve kissed his forehead as he’s done his baby push-ups against my chest. I’ve had countless conversations with him.

And now, it’s time to relinquish these moments to someone else. My heart breaks, but holds together at some seams knowing it’s still my arms that will rock him to sleep each night.

I remember a recent conversation with my husband. His Hollywood career pays little currently, but moves him closer toward his dreams of directing. Read more…

I leave to you a world

In nineteen years of blogging encompassing several teenage years, I’ve written surprisingly few angsty poems.

Tonight, gazing at my infant son and mulling over many news stories reflected in this depressing XKCD comic on climate change, I decided I was overdue space for one such (warranted) poem.

I dedicate this to my son and all the children–current and future–to whom older generations leave mere echoes of the natural majesty we hungrily eroded.

I leave to you a world

I leave to you a world
Less full of nature’s magnificence,
For my generation and its forebears
Favored wealth above all else
(Including you),
Sacrificing the intangible future–
Your future–
For its immediate tangible gains

I leave to you a world
Where provable fact is
Dismissed as “opinion”
Because it’s easier to change one’s mind
Than try to change
The world Read more…

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