Archive for the ‘Facebook’ Category

The shorthand of Facebook

I deleted my Facebook account 35 weeks ago.

I know this not because I’ve been counting the days, but because a celebratory Instagram post from that day helpfully notes how long ago it was.

I’d deactivated my account more than a year prior, but hadn’t been ready to delete just yet.

Why did I delete? In short, because its algorithms and privacy settings suck. (Use the sidebar search function on my blog if you’re interested in lengthier reflections on my Facebook frustrations.)

There was another reason that was harder for me to articulate: I just didn’t like the conversations there.

Until this morning, I couldn’t pinpoint why. Read more…

Weekend Coffee Share: Caught up in now

If we were meeting for drinks, I’d tell you over sparkling water that I don’t have much new to say.

I already wrote about having lost my fear. And I told you–granted, in a post, but you’ve told me you read those–about my son’s sixth birthday party.

What I can tell you above and beyond that is how surprisingly exhausted I am today. Half the people attending yesterday’s party were friends and parents from Li’l D’s new school, which made it hard to feel at ease for at least the first hour. My very first interaction was with another mother telling me she doesn’t believe in spoiling kids. She eyeballed the bounce house we’d rented as she said this, her implications hanging heavy in the air between us. Read more…

The rest is commentary

You probably think I’m a pretty serious person, and it’s true. I am. I would love to heal this world’s ills.

But underneath all my seriousness, I like to laugh. It’s why I made ridiculous animated GIFs throughout law school.

dancin' all the way to orygun!

It’s why I also opted to be an extra on my favorite shows in law school. Given a choice between studying torts and running away from giant tentacled beasts, how could I say “no” to Torts?

Don't go there!

Li’l D bears witness to my bygone diligence

I am constantly drawing stick figure comics in my head. Read more…

My blog’s search terms are scarier than yours

Most folks who read my blog are bloggers.

A handful of others got here by searching for a particular word or phrase. After peeking around, they decided to stay awhile.

I love posts about funny search termsI meant to write one of my own. Unfortunately, most my blog’s search terms are either appropriately earnest or scary pornographic. I want to erase those latter ones from my own memory, so I’m sparing you the scarring and avoiding them here. (My mom might have chosen a different superhero name if she’d known!)

This search term landscape called for a different plan. I’m still going to share search terms. I’m just going to share–in order of number of times they’ve led folks here–the most frequently occuring ones instead of the funniest ones.

  • 2,073 searches — “katniss”

I wrote a throwaway post about liking Katniss in the Hunger Games movie. I deleted it out of grouchiness that something so irrelevant should be The Great Beacon to my blog. Because, y’know, I’m opposed to people finding it.

  • bunches — “TMiYC bullying” (and similar)

I deleted these ones accidentally and could still kick myself for it.

  • 10/30/11: Reading While Walking revisitedbunches — “reading while walking” (and similar)

I’m the expert. WordPress made it so by Freshly Pressing this one. ‘Cause that’s how experts are made!

  • 67 searches — “one of those hideous books where the mother dies”

I accidentally deleted this post about one of my favorite YA books. Read it! (Pick up Stop Pretending while you’re at it …)

  • 43 searches — “irrelevant” and “your belief is irrelevant”

Oh, yeah, baby! This is me. Read more…

Breaking up with Facebook. Again.

I began this blog thinking I’d write about writing. That lasted for roughly three posts, but the lessons I’d internalized about “building a platform” stuck with me. I had to be more places online! I had to build my brand! I had to be on Twitter and Facebook and Tumblr and forums so people would know me as their personal closet monster!

Remembering this April image helped

When I started my blog’s Facebook page, Facebook had pretty lax rules about who saw what. If someone had liked my page, they saw my posts. This meant I had a really great, active community on Facebook. Eventually, the strategic thinkers of Facebook realized that they were giving away space in members’ newsfeeds. They started limiting who saw what. They offered the option to promote a given post and thus expand its reach to more of the folks who had liked a page. Text posts got the most exposure, followed by pictures, followed distantly by blog links. If a post took a user off Facebook and away from its advertising revenue, Facebook was not a fan.

I deactivated my Facebook account for six months. It felt fantastic. And yet, I came back, and fell into old patterns of trying tricks to get my posts into more feeds.

I’m done, for the reasons I expressed here. In short:

I will endeavor to emphasize things in my life that bring joy, and limit those things that don’t. The latter category includes Facebook. I’m grateful for the connections it’s allowed me to make and sustain, and that will forever be the case. But fondness for things already transpired is no reason to continue sinking more and more time present and future into scheming around someone else’s algorithms. 

As my husband snores to Despicable Me 2 with my son this morning, I’ve taken a little time to look back on my relationship with Facebook. We had some good times. We had some great conversations outside all the game playing.

I’m sharing some of those moments here, the better to ease the transition from one site relationship to this friendlier, less restrictive one.

December 21, 2013

131221 FB post nathan

Writing an email to an online friend a moment ago, it struck me that I’ve had one friend for twenty years. TWENTY.

We first started chatting on local bulletin boards, deciding to meet up after a month or so of exchanging messages. His dad found it extremely weird how our friendship had begun, but regardless of its beginnings, it was real.

Over twenty years, we’ve fallen in and out of touch, but he’s always remained a true friend. He visited me in Japan. We dated. When my mom was dying, he flew down to L.A. and drove me and my son up to Eugene; he and Anthony hit it off famously, so that our long drive began with the two of them exchanging hugs and Anthony bidding him, “Take care of my family.” Read more…

O, terrible, terrific technology!

Alarms boomed and vibrated around me. I locked eyes with colleagues, each apparently as bemused as me. What on earth was happening? This wasn’t like any fire drill.

Having just read an alien invasion story, a tiny part of me decided that aliens were the culprit. We’d soon be incinerated, at least if we didn’t get under our desks quickly enough. (Desks have protective force fields, right?)

Trail signs are also good for throwing aliens off the scent

Trail signs are also good for throwing aliens off the scent

After a few moments, we collectively realized the alarms were coming from our phones. Everyone on a particular cellular network had received an AMBER Alert warning of a child abduction in the vicinity. This discovery led to awed, joyful exclamations over the good technology is capable of working.

I’ll be honest. For all the time I spend online, I’m wary of technology. It’s easy for me to see all its pains and pitfalls, and to agree with my mom’s sentiment on the matter: Read more…

Six weeks without Facebook. Life without a blog?

Using my keen graphic design skills, I illustrated my departure from Facebook six weeks ago with a couple of Crayon masterpieces (Crayon mathematics: Bambi v. Sauron and “necessary evil”).

evil unevil wi

Unfortunately, I used the word “mathematics” in the title, which is a surefire way to get people not to read a blog, no matter how stunning its graphics. I might as well have titled the post: “Tempted to open this? This blog will eat you, and your children, too!” Read more…

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