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my island

Last weekend,
I wrote about how much
(and why) I love
the movie
Moana

Yesterday,
I bought
the soundtrack
for commute
brightening
purposes,
but:

The best
part of yesterday,
easily, was the Moana
bedtime dance party
I had with my three-year-old

On a 4×6 rug,
we went
away, away,
laughing and
twirling
together;

on our own little
rug-island
in space and time;

Like Moana and her
(granted, fictional) villagers,
having been there once,
I will now, always
be able to find
my way
back
(home)

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Categories: Movies, Music, Parenting Tags: , , ,

wild

Last Friday evening, my family and I did something we never do: We sat down and watched a movie together.

I seldom watch TV and movies anymore, because I can now hear–and mostly reject–the slew of stories whispering cacophonous from behind any roaring “main” one. I chose to watch this one because I’m bombarded by its music–thanks, neighbors!–many evenings, and wanted to know the context for its songs.

The movie inspired my seven-year-old to ask two beautiful questions, which came back to me as I rewatched it alone this morning. I smiled and thought that I’d like to share those questions, and how I answered them. Read more…

over my shoulder, smiling

every night,
i fall asleep
listening to
the same
movie

in
everything must go,
a salesman has three
days (more or less)
to get rid of
everything
he owns

the premise
makes it sound sad,
but it ends up being
hopeful,
instead

a couple
of weeks ago,
i exclaimed to
my husband,
“oh! i just got
why i love
this movie
so much!” Read more…

Alan, always

I recently began sharing
the world of Harry Potter
with my six-year-old,
who called Professor Snape
his favorite character.

Why?
“Because he was protecting Harry!

My heart sank
this morning
when I learned
Alan Rickman,
the actor who
breathed such life
into Snape,
had died.

But then,
then I saw
one Rickman quote
repeated everywhere
I looked:

When I’m eighty years old
and sitting in my rocking chair,
I’ll be reading Harry Potter.
And my family will say to me,
“After all this time?”
And I will say, “Always.”

He will never read
Harry Potter at eighty,
or even seventy, and
that’s sadder
than the word “sad”
does justice.

But I can’t help smiling,
reading those words.

Eighty is fleeting
compared to always.

Rickman lived his dreams,
and I, in his audience,
got to share
this one
with him.

At twelve,
at forty,
at sixty,
that is
magic.

That is

always.

Through the pensieve

A couple weeks ago, my six-year-old said his favorite Harry Potter character was Snape:

Dad: Who’s your favorite Harry Potter character?
D: Snape!
Dad: Why?
D: Because he was protecting Harry.

Yesterday he watched Snape’s apparent betrayal of Dumbledore. “But he protected Harry!” shouted Li’l D. “He protected Harry!”

“There are lots of different ways of protecting people, sweetheart,” I told him. “Keep watching.”

After I wrapped up work, I joined him on the couch for The Deathly Hallows, Part 2. Li’l D took it in with great and silent concern as his dad–home just in time to also partake–and I wiped tears from our eyes through the sequence of memories derived from Snape’s tears.

I suspect Li’l D will be mulling this over for a while. For my part, I am glad to remember reading the first book back in law school … and to think with great joy how much lovelier this story is now, shared with the little one I didn’t then know would ever come to be.

Did I say “little one“? I mean “little ones.” Littler J also enjoyed the final show, if in a less contemplative way!

Categories: Books, Family, Movies, Parenting Tags: , , ,

Weekend Coffee Share: The Final Girls

bubble 3If we were having coffee today, I’d ask if I could fumble through where I’m at before settling into contentedly listening to you. I’d much rather listen than talk these days. Truthfully, I’d really rather retreat to my closet and recharge there for about a month than just about anything else right now, and emerge only to spend time with my favorite little boys. That’s not an option, so …

You might have already picked up on that I’ve been feeling spread extra thin lately based on my reflections about others’ expectations and introversion earlier this week. There is constant stimulation and change around me, and the early week respite I’d hoped to help energize and keep me going appears to have vanished. So I must preserve what little energy I have, which I do–in part–by listening more than speaking.

Still, people often think you’re cold or inaccessible if you don’t speak at all, so I’d tell you I’ve been finding bits of energy in little things like my six-year-old son’s newfound love of Bad Kitty books. He laughs uproariously at least once every couple of chapters, and I’m in a similar boat. I’m excited that he can laugh so much while learning about things like the election process.

In things like my nineteen-month-old speaking up more words every day. Until the last couple of weeks, he’s been much more interested in signing than speaking with his mouth. He’s previously mostly used signs to express himself and his mouth to shriek when upset. The last week, he’s spoken new words like “apple,” “water,” and “gramma.” I’m enjoying listening him learn to express himself with a little more nuance than are afforded by ear-splitting shrieks of rage. Read more…

10 years ago today

Do you ever get to wondering where–and who–you were this very day on past years? I do.

Lucky for me, I have 19.92 years of blogs to peruse when this wondering strikes me. Unlucky for me, 19.92 years is a lot of time to write things that make current-me cringe and want to reach into the past to whack past-me upside the head.

Reading what I wrote from Japan ten years ago today is utterly perplexing. Today my life is husband and kids and software contracts and long drives and always juggling, juggling, juggling. It’s full and overwhelming and lovelier than anything I ever thought I wanted.

But before? Before, it was … stuff like you’ll see below. I showed it to my husband, who said, “Life is better now!”

I thought he was going to say, “Because you have us!” What he actually said prompted Consternation Face.

Moments like this pass quickly

Look! My Creepy Face!

“Now you get to actually go to wrap parties instead of watching from the sidelines!”

Oh, sweet husband, you missed the point entirely! Yes, life is better now.

But it’s not because of wrap parties or Hollywood, sweet one.

It’s because of you and our wonderful little boys.

Semi-random premiere memories
May 21, 2005 Read more…

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