“take care of my family,”
said my then-future husband
as he hugged
this is the part
where you interrupt
men and women can’t be friends!
exes can’t be friends!
it is against
the natural laws
of … uh, well,
is that so?
there is far
too much unlove
in the world
to willingly observe
a monday chat
ten months ago,
i took my older son
to meet his new teacher
at a new school
he was nervous.
i told him i get
i breathed thanks
that, though he’s known
some hard times, he
still doesn’t know
what it’s like to be
one of the odd ones
i have grown
with my son
this year Read more…
About a month ago, my friend Ra texted me something that’s been on my mind since.
She said there was a Saturday evening aerobics class in prison. People who attended didn’t necessarily go because they wanted to do aerobics, but because they wanted to see other people. They wanted to be somewhere with someone, or many someones, with whom they had some kind of kinship …
… without having to seek or arrange a time and place.
When I lived in Japan, I was mobbed with hugs daily.
Those hugs were the tiny-armed hugs of the tiny-armed people I taught. I cherished those hugs, but I felt more and more starved by the day for hugs from adults: people who saw me as I truly was and loved me all the same.
I thought of myself as hug-starved, and I was.
Since having my second son two years ago, I have become so much more a hermit than ever before. Read more…
On Tuesday, I landed in New Orleans.
I was greeted there by a good friend I’d never yet met in person.
(That happens with blogging. When you’ve already met in heart and mind, the physical meeting isn’t really the first meeting.)
Lisha picked me up outside the airport. We chatted comfortably as she took me on a two-hour tour of her beloved city.
A few days ago, my friend Ra wrote “you choose your choices.”
It’s the kind of thing I read and realize I have
too many words no words only one word for: thud.
When I first read about how Ra and her husband used the word, I thought something like, “I appreciate the loving use of this word-like object, but it is not a real word and it will never escape my lips or fingertips!”
(Really, though, it wasn’t too silly and small. It was too big and too raw, this single syllable capable of saying so much. Also, I ended up using it no more than four minutes later. Some resolve!)
I do think we choose our choices. I also think that we can’t understand all consequences of our choices when we make them, and that sometimes the choices we have are so spectacularly crappy they only barely constitute choices at all.
And I think of Ra, But I trust you! You’re one of a handful of people with whom I’d entrust those two little tornadoes most precious to me!
And I think, The whole world is inside of you and ahead of you! With your loving strength you will shape it.
And I think, The whole point of “thud” is that these little thoughts and scant comforts
are extraordinarily small compared to the love and dreams and aches
encompassed by that misleadingly small word.
If you don’t yet know “thud,” I suggest you acquaint yourself via the link above.*
For all I vowed–for a matter of seconds–that I’d never use it, I expect to use it liberally henceforth.
(Besides, it’s a much better word, all around, than “henceforth.”)
* I also recommend you acquaint yourself with this lovely post,
featuring sweet words for kids as well as bits from my tiny tornadoes.
Today I am thankful for many things. Among these are the following:
1. My sister, Silver Star, who celebrated her birthday 900 miles away in space and 0 miles away in my heart. Even a couple of my My Little Pony figures adore her enough to join the well wishing!