Home > Death, Family, Love > feeling life

feeling life

It’s been a while since I visited my mom’s grave, so I wanted to visit it while in town last weekend.

As my hours left in town shrank into minutes on Saturday, I found I didn’t really want to visit Mom’s grave. I’d already felt my mom in a dozen sweet moments of life outside the cemetery in my family’s three days in town. Trying to find her in the cemetery, which she only ever visited in death, felt like holding on to the wrong thing.

My husband, sons, and I left town without visiting her grave.

I feared I’d get back to SoCal and kick myself, but no: I’d felt her life wherever I went in town, and that sweetness didn’t leave me just because I left town.

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Categories: Death, Family, Love Tags: , , ,
  1. November 28, 2017 at 7:11 am

    I totally get this!

  2. November 28, 2017 at 11:48 am

    A much, much better way to be remembered. Or so I think.

  3. November 29, 2017 at 12:14 am

    I felt a similar way about seeing my mom’s body (I couldn’t be there when she died). I was scared to, which is why I had to do it. She wasn’t there though. I wrote a post about it – https://americansoustannie.wordpress.com/2016/08/16/the-envelope/

  4. November 29, 2017 at 7:56 am

    Mom’s with us all the time. Whether when she was alive or now that she’s gone from us, she keeps popping up in the most unusual places and never when I visit her grave. I often find myself opening my mouth and my mother’s words pop out. It usually brings a smile and that’s how I want to remember her.

  5. November 30, 2017 at 11:56 am

    I really relate to this. We cremated my dad, and I’m glad, because seeing his name on a headstone would be too jarring for me. Going to a place that mattered to him (whether or not his ashes were scattered there) is much better.

    On that note, I keep having dreams about going to Cedar Point (an amusement park that’s a favorite place for my dad, sister, and me) that are full of symbols of grief. I haven’t been back to Cedar Point since we were last there with my dad in 2015. But last night I had another one, in which my favorite roller coaster had been replaced with a “new version” that was completely awful. But my dad was there to ride it with me and agree that it was bad. It was jarring to wake up and realize he wasn’t.

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