Home > Communication, Friends, Los Angeles > Talks with old friends

Talks with old friends

I talked with an old friend yesterday morning.

She had made coffee at 6:15 a.m. so she’d be ready to chat at 6:30 a.m.

As I drove to work, Jane and I talked on the phone about many things. One particular exchange stood out after we hung up after I reached my office.

“I’m trying to give myself breaks. I can’t really effect positive change from a place of constant distress, y’know?” I said.

“I’m writing that down,” she replied. She felt exactly what I meant.

deb jane

Me and Jane, more’n a decade ago

I wanted to write down a lot of what we said, but I couldn’t.

Instead of marking the words, I marked the feeling: the feeling of safety that comes with having loved and quarreled with and come back to loving someone without reservation.

For the first time in what seemed like ages, my distress melted away. I was just Deb, chatting with a dear old friend and savoring every second of it.

I tried to return to the feeling of Jane-talking throughout the day. I’d find it in moments here and there, but it kept fleeing when I thought about all the change I wasn’t making happen right now!

Today was a little different.

I’d told Jane yesterday, “Rain is nice. When it’s sunny out, which is most the time here, I feel like I have to get things done. When it pours, the load is lightened. I feel so much more mellow, like, ‘You know what? Today would be a good day to do half as many things.'”

It poured today, as if to remind me.

After spending extra time in traffic this morning thanks to the glorious downpour, I stopped at a gas station and messaged my sister and a new, supportive Twitter friend, Michael, while filling my tank: “Wish I knew how to relax right now.”

Step away, Rache and Michael both told me. Take a social media break!

I smiled. I was grateful to have them looking out for me.

Soon after, I read with a little boy who asked, “Will you be coming back tomorrow?!” (“No,” I told him, “but I’ll see you again next month!”)

At work, we had our holiday party. I fought valiantly and won the only prize worth keeping: poop slippers, which I seized at the very last second.

And there was something else, too: I’d solved a riddle. Thanks to Jane’s candor, I was able to piece together some part of a truth it’s pissed me off to have perpetually just beyond my reach.

The joy from solving a riddle is directly proportional to the time and energy it takes to solve it …

… and whether a friend helps you solve it.

1012356 slurp

Same as always on Friday, I inched home slowly in Friday afternoon traffic.

Unlike always, I smiled all the way. Why? Well, wouldn’t you know:

I talked with an old friend yesterday morning.


The sweet convergence of past and present

  1. December 16, 2016 at 7:50 pm

    I love this! It’s loving and hopeful. If you haven’t already, check out van Jones’ Dream Corp movement – http://www.thedreamcorps.org

  2. December 16, 2016 at 8:52 pm

    It was such a pleasant read.♥

  3. December 17, 2016 at 9:21 am

    friendships 🙂

  4. December 17, 2016 at 11:22 am

    Very upbeat, cheerful, and peaceful with a nice coating of nostalgia… I’m very glad your article appeared in my blog-feed as recommended reading! All the best to you w/peace and blessings!

  5. December 18, 2016 at 5:20 am

    Thank you for reading and commenting! Based on your comment, i’m heading to your blog now. 🙂

  6. December 18, 2016 at 7:11 am

    You are so blessed to have that friendship. Its great to just chill and relax, we really need it in this hectic life. 💗

    • December 18, 2016 at 7:14 am

      Truly! I’m really glad we’re already counting on more early Thursday talks. Knowing that it wasn’t a one-timer takes another load off. ♥

  1. December 17, 2016 at 6:46 am
  2. January 14, 2017 at 7:12 am

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