Home > Blogging, Reflections > Thank you for staying.

Thank you for staying.

I owe my seven-year-old some snuggles, and I promised my husband I was about to step away from the computer.

I couldn’t step away yet, though. There was something else I had to say, so I sat here for a moment longer, trying to figure out what that feeling was. I finally found a name for it: gratitude.

I’ve learned a lot of hard things the last few months. They made me both sad and angry, and I showed lots of both those emotions. I’ve already said sorry for being a jerk, so I won’t dwell there again.

What’s left to say, I think, is thank you. Thank you for sticking around while I figured out what I believe, and how to start expressing it, and got back around to understanding we needn’t agree on much of anything to support each other in friendship.

I’m glad you stuck around. I’m glad you didn’t throw up your hands and go, “That’s it! The Deb I knew is gone! Done here!”

You could have. You didn’t.

Thank you for staying.

Thank you.

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Categories: Blogging, Reflections Tags: , ,
  1. December 11, 2016 at 1:12 pm

    I just read my apology. It was weaksauce: tons of justification and a single sentence of sorry. “I’m sorry I acted as if you were [my enemy].”

    So I’ll go ahead and say sorry here, too. I’m still angry. I’m still sad. But I’m also more hopeful by the day, and I’m hopeful, in large part, because of you.

    I’m sorry for every accusation, every unkind word, every single poke at you instead of at the policies that scare, anger, and sadden me.

    I’m thankful, and I’m sorry. You deserve better, and I mean to do better.

  2. Deb
    December 11, 2016 at 1:47 pm

    Ya know Deb, while I didn’t comment a lot during many of your more political posts, and while I may not have agreed with everything, I am proud of you for searching, and exploring, and discovering, and just trying to understand what this world is and where you fit in. These last months of political garbage on both of the main sides got to be way too much. I reached a point where it was hard enough to know my own opinions, and it was doubly hard to turn every corner of every news broadcast, social media post, yard sign, rally and whatever else, and and be confronted with so much crap that worked to drown out any real conversation. Friends, even virtual ones, don’t always know how to say what’s important, or meaningful, or positive, (ME!) but that doesn’t mean we put you aside either. It’s a steep learning curve lately, and we all have to be better I think, if we hope to see a more positive future. 🙂

    • December 12, 2016 at 8:01 pm

      Yes! My younger sister and I talked about that (“a steep learning curve lately, and we all have to be better”) during some of my afternoon commute.

      We’re all trying to make sense of a heckuva lot of stuff right now. There’s no way not to feel disheartened, frustrated, and angry, in ourselves or others. So … instead of being frustrated again that all these uncomfortable feelings are out there, why not try and make it easier to have the discussions? To listen to others and then to fumble through our own ineloquent answers in search of better?

      I’d rather reach different conclusions together than reach any and all conclusions alone, whole galaxies away from people I love and respect.

      (I’m sure I’ll have to keep reminding myself, but it’s taking a little less reminding by the day.)

  3. December 12, 2016 at 9:58 am

    Why should you apologise for expressing yourself? I don’t remember you bullying anyone or being unkind. In times of such instability it is not always easy to get your point across especially when feelings run high.

    I’m sticking around, you’ll have to do better than that to get rid of me 🙂

    • December 12, 2016 at 1:02 pm

      There’s one post in particular that I wrote from a place of passion about the subject (Yemen) but which I now read as a sounding like a great big “eff you if you don’t see it!” I don’t regret my passion, certainly, and I’m still glad I wrote the post becaue it was part of this “learning to speak politics” journey. I feel like a sorry is fair and deserved, but I’m not beating myself up about it … just committing to doing better, which will (I believe) keep getting easier the more I practice. 🙂

      I want to encourage others to practice, too, not shy away for fear I’ll breathe fire when they reach different conclusions than I do.

      I greatly appreciate your kind words. Thank you. ♡

  4. December 12, 2016 at 12:45 pm

    To quote a certain TV show, “I like you just the way you are.”

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