Home > Love, Uncategorized > Sunlight & friends

Sunlight & friends

Something delightful happened after I deleted my Instagram account last month: I stopped thinking of my friends as the two-dimensional representations they share there, and started remembering them as who my heart knows them to be.

I hadn’t even realized I’d been boiling them down to their most superficial selves until I was no longer doing it.

Since then, I’ve had a growing longing to be with friends in person.

My heart’s shouted at me that human bodies are meant to congregate.

Yesterday morning, my family and I joined several friends for brunch at Long Beach’s The Social List.

As I opened the restaurant door, I almost started crying to see Ra, Emily, Mike, Amelia, and Kris sitting together, illuminated by mid-morning sunlight. Actually seeing my friends live, in all their glorious, full dimensions, instantly did my heart wonders.

Two hours sitting with them was fuel that’ll keep me running for a while.

Today I’ll be planning my next outing to refuel with friends.

You might want to do the same with yours, for:

We’re meant to sit with each other in body, as
confirmed by the fullness in my heart
when I recall sitting in the sunlight
with my friends



  1. December 5, 2016 at 6:02 am

    Damn straight! I’ve been saying that social media is the slow death to physical interactions with other people for a long time now. Facebook is gone for me. Twitter exists as a social outlet for my blog and to get decent news. Instagram, also tied to my blog, is a mere hobby to post pictures of interest (not life).

    I recently discovered that a blog I follow is authored by someone literally 50 miles from my home in Pennsylvania. Given that we’re both introverts and generally awkward in “new” situations, I doubt we will meet anytime soon if ever. That doesn’t negate me from sharing more meaningful comments on posts he makes and vice versa.

    We need to recapture our ability to socialize in person and put down the technology. I fear a day when it will be looked upon as “odd” to socially interact with someone physically rather than through technology.

    • December 11, 2016 at 1:40 pm

      I hope, hope, hope we can navigate away from that end result! Even more since I first posted, I have felt the good in physical company. I’ve been friendlier to strangers, going from giving a nod or smile to verbal greetings, and felt the warmth when folks reply, which is most the time. I want–no, yearn for–more of that for everyone. 🙂

  2. Holly
    December 5, 2016 at 6:26 am

    I wondered where you went! I totally get it though, seeing as I am still actively moving away from FB (and, yes, here too). Different platforms, same reasoning. ❤

    Here's to more awesome outings and moments ahead 🙂

    • December 11, 2016 at 1:44 pm

      I’d been moving away from here, focusing on reading news and politics to try to understand that all better, only to find myself missing here more and more. I’ll aim to spend a little time here, less time on Twitter, and more time overall interacting with the people around me in the physical world. There’ll always be a place for blogs in my life, but there should be more of a place for life there, too. 😉

      • Holly
        December 13, 2016 at 9:46 am

        I totally get it. I am done as a contributor on my own space at this point but I don’t want to lose all the connections I have made. Or the genuine ones, that is. It’s a struggle to find balance, which is funny since it seems like this should be the easiest thing to just “make work” into whatever else is going on. Online socialization for me has turned just as stressful and sometimes mean as in-person, so I”m backing off all things it seems and re-evaluating from there.

        Wishing you love and peace wherever you go. You know how to find me elsewhere (well, email) if you need me ❤

  3. December 5, 2016 at 7:14 am

    Hear, hear! I’m using the holiday season to kick-start my resolution to spend more time with people and less time facing a screen. Sunlight and salt water make for the best gatherings.

    • December 11, 2016 at 1:46 pm

      Reading this, I think I need to make it a resolution here, as well! Maybe I’ll look for one (phoneless) outing a week. 🙂

      Big, big hugs!

  4. December 5, 2016 at 7:21 am

    Wow I really like this perspective. It is true, I do think lesser of my friends when they post self centred photos on instagram. Can’t help it, it’s only human. And now that I don’t have any time to see them, well, it puts a rift between us. We have to make time for those we love, and love them despite their flaws, and hope that they would do the same for us.

    • December 11, 2016 at 1:50 pm

      We do have to make that time! I haven’t been making it as much the last few years, and forget how sad it is until I see my friends in living color and feel that physical rush of how much I’ve missed them.

      I’m so glad to already have some “dates” on the calendar! I’m going to try keeping it so there’s always at least one on the horizon.

  5. December 5, 2016 at 8:54 am

    I struggle, with my introversion, my bubble. I know you are right, I know what you say is true. I am struggling hard to climb out. ❤

    • December 11, 2016 at 1:53 pm

      I think it’s getting harder and harder to pierce those bubbles, our own and others’. It’s a worthwhile endeavor, though, with such sweet reward. ♡

  6. December 5, 2016 at 10:21 am

    Yes! You said it just right. I shut down my Facebook just over a month ago and feel exactly the same. Even though I mostly kept it to close, current friends….the relationships started feeling shallow and I noticed we didn’t make the same effort to see each other or talk on the phone at a personal level as we did before I joined Facebook. Nicely said.

    • December 11, 2016 at 1:58 pm

      “Shallow” is the perfect word for it! I feel so, so much better by the day, looking forward to upcoming face to face interactions full of depth and warmth and wholeness. 🙂

      I was a little mortified earlier that some of my blogs here had a Facebook feel to them. Nooo! I’m not on Facebook because I don’t want the kind of dismissive non-discourse that happens there, where it’s easy to forget (and reveal the forgetting) the complete people behind the keyboards.

  7. December 5, 2016 at 10:26 am

    I love this post! I have started to move away from the mindless scrolling through nothing also. I find I have wasted time doing nothing and what have I really achieved? At least on here the posts are worth reading and actually make you think! Bye bye Facebook hello blog world! 😊

    • December 11, 2016 at 2:01 pm

      “What have I really achieved?” That’s the perfect way of framing that!

      Also, yes to the blogosphere! So much more nuance here.

      Thank you. ♡

  8. December 5, 2016 at 12:29 pm

    A timely reminder. Thank you.
    I don’t play FB or instagram or twitter – and don’t spend nearly enough time with people in the flesh.
    I am however grateful for the blogosphere which has given me friends I may never meet – but value just the same.

    • December 11, 2016 at 2:03 pm

      I’m also grateful for the blogosphere. I haven’t been here reading other folks’ blogs nearly enough, and I feel the difference. I’m going to start making some time daily again. Even 5-10 minutes a day is food for the soul.

  9. December 5, 2016 at 5:10 pm

    Facebook is the same…seeing friends and family in person soothes my soul much more than by social media.

    • December 11, 2016 at 2:05 pm

      Yes! And for those I can’t see in person, I’m going to try more FaceTime. It’s not quite the same as face to face time, but it’s a lot closer than Facebook!

  1. March 19, 2017 at 8:20 am

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