Home > politics, Reflections, Relationships > “Don’t argue with your team!”

“Don’t argue with your team!”

My politically moderate husband and I were just arguing in the kitchen.

“Deborah, you need to tell people that you’re trying to figure shit out by writing about it.”

“I already did! I do it, like, every fifth post on Learning to Speak Politics. Are you saying I need to spell it out in every single post?! I mean, the entire premise is in the blog’s title. I’m learning by writing!”

“Yes! You need a note on every. Single. One. Copy and paste it: ‘I am not a Trump supporter! I did not vote for Trump! I am literally live-broadcasting my political journey, and this is my scratchboard! I’m making it public so you can aid that evolution! I’m not at an endpoint but walking a road. I’m trying to figure out what I believe and why I believe it!‘”

He’s probably right. I don’t know what that footnote will be, exactly, but I do know its first incarnation was the preface I wrote on my politics page a few months back:

This page reflects a selection of politics-related articles
curated by a (new) U.S. third party voter.

While both main-party presidential candidates threaten
prospects of retaining any semblance of U.S. democracy,
links below emphasize the
Democratic threat,
which is all the more horrifying because
it’s hidden under the guise of
the dove.

My journey of discovery began from a place of shock and horror. I thought my votes for Democrats (versus Republicans) were votes for peace. They weren’t.

So now, understanding this … it’s up to me to figure out how I can play a role in propagating actual peace–positive, not negative, justice.

No one else has paved this road for me. No one else can pave it for me.

My husband just told me not to argue with my team. But who is my team? Right now, I’m not sure.

The people I thought were my team spent the last six months yelling at me for ever disagreeing.

So maybe it’s up to me not to yell. Maybe it’s up to me to be even clearer
that I’m simply


Eight years ago, and still. Anthony: “We can disagree within in the team, ’cause that’s what democracy is. Then we figure out how to make an agreement!”


  1. November 13, 2016 at 5:26 pm

    I understand your quest in trying to figure out politics as you write. I often do the same. 🌞

    • November 17, 2016 at 6:49 pm

      Today I undertook trying to explain something without having first written it. It feels nicer sitting and figuring out with a keyboard, with lots less stumbles … but it turns out it’s really nice working through the stumbles face to face with someone else. 😀

  2. November 13, 2016 at 7:21 pm

    I love it just like I love the both of you!

  3. November 14, 2016 at 2:37 pm

    Count me as part of your “team.” You and I have disagreed on a lot of things, but I, at least, have learned to “agree to disagree” and LISTEN. At this point, I think everyone is horrified – no matter which side of the aisle one started on. We have a madman for a president, and “politics” clearly has turned a weird corner. At the moment we’re all beginners and all need to learn. I honor the fact that you are willing to learn publically! You care, but I don’t think you’re out demonstrating. I *enjoy* learning with you. So please, don’t give up. Don’t give in to despair.

    • November 17, 2016 at 6:52 pm

      YES to agreeing to disagree and listen! I’ve gotten a little bit better by the day, and hopefully have cleared the biggest hurdles yet.

      Writing politics day after consecutive day has been exhausting me, but the load felt a little lighter after I sat down and planned out short, sweet(er) posts for the last couple weeks of the month. One will be about a three-person community including me, my just-younger sister, and a fellow blogger. We each voted differently in the presidential election and bounce ideas, articles, and some truly terrible jokes off of each other. That has made all the difference, and it’s something I wish everyone had. Guess I’ll have to try and emulate it on my blog and in life … better with practice!

      Many thanks for your food for thought, support, and encouragement on this interesting journey! ♥

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