A few days ago, my friend Ra wrote “you choose your choices.”
It’s the kind of thing I read and realize I have
too many words no words only one word for: thud.
When I first read about how Ra and her husband used the word, I thought something like, “I appreciate the loving use of this word-like object, but it is not a real word and it will never escape my lips or fingertips!”
(Really, though, it wasn’t too silly and small. It was too big and too raw, this single syllable capable of saying so much. Also, I ended up using it no more than four minutes later. Some resolve!)
I do think we choose our choices. I also think that we can’t understand all consequences of our choices when we make them, and that sometimes the choices we have are so spectacularly crappy they only barely constitute choices at all.
And I think of Ra, But I trust you! You’re one of a handful of people with whom I’d entrust those two little tornadoes most precious to me!
And I think, The whole world is inside of you and ahead of you! With your loving strength you will shape it.
And I think, The whole point of “thud” is that these little thoughts and scant comforts
are extraordinarily small compared to the love and dreams and aches
encompassed by that misleadingly small word.
If you don’t yet know “thud,” I suggest you acquaint yourself via the link above.*
For all I vowed–for a matter of seconds–that I’d never use it, I expect to use it liberally henceforth.
(Besides, it’s a much better word, all around, than “henceforth.”)
* I also recommend you acquaint yourself with this lovely post,
featuring sweet words for kids as well as bits from my tiny tornadoes.