Home > Facebook, Family, Friends, Parenting > Weekend Coffee Share: Caught up in now

Weekend Coffee Share: Caught up in now

If we were meeting for drinks, I’d tell you over sparkling water that I don’t have much new to say.

I already wrote about having lost my fear. And I told you–granted, in a post, but you’ve told me you read those–about my son’s sixth birthday party.

What I can tell you above and beyond that is how surprisingly exhausted I am today. Half the people attending yesterday’s party were friends and parents from Li’l D’s new school, which made it hard to feel at ease for at least the first hour. My very first interaction was with another mother telling me she doesn’t believe in spoiling kids. She eyeballed the bounce house we’d rented as she said this, her implications hanging heavy in the air between us.


“I don’t believe it’s spoiling a child to celebrate his birthday in joy,” I replied. I thought but did not say, “I’m not judging you, and I don’t care about your judgments of me; from your statement, all I’ve learned is that it’ll be best to spare as few words for you as possible.”

I wasn’t concerned by her judgments, but they exhausted me all the same. I left Facebook because friends and acquaintances so casually interact like that there; I felt like I was experience Facebook Live, and I wanted to deactivate immediately.

But that wasn’t an option, so I persevered, focusing on the joyous things abundant: my beautiful boys, Ra‘s presence (she is so, so incredibly sweet with those beautiful boys!), my friend B who’d driven dozens of miles to be there, my sister, my sons’ joy. And, of course, the fact that half my son’s class had shown up despite that he’d only been among them for a month. That thrilled me, as I thought again with relief: He may never know what it’s like to be one of the odd ones.

(You grow up just fine, but it’s uncomfortable all the same. Just like with Facebook Live conversations yesterday.)

I’d apologize for spending so much time on an aside and tell you how lovely the party was regardless. How wonderful today was!

The morning wasn’t great. I wanted to crawl under my bed and hide when Littler J awakened at five, and I fumbled through it barely awake.

The day was like a whole ‘nother one after Littler J awakened from his nap. I putted around the kitchen, thinking how I used to hate time there. It’s so inconvenient! I thought, before realizing that I lost many great flavors–life ones having nothing to do with what mouths taste–when I ate someone else’s food quickly instead of spending the time immersed in making something of my own as my kids run circles around me. I used to sacrifice real comfort for some ill defined convenience. I often make the trade still. That’s life. But it’s no longer three times a day every day, like it was before.

I enjoy my time caught up in now whenever I’m in the kitchen.

I’d share that I thought how thrilled and surprised my mom would be to see me in the kitchen. She hadn’t bothered teaching me to cook. Tomboys were useless at such things, so why bother?

(My boys are welcome in the kitchen, and already help me make the basics. They will not fear the kitchen as I did!)

d cooking

I’d tell you that my family’s afternoon trip the bookstore was delightful. Li’l D found another book in a series he enjoys as Littler J cruised through the aisles flapping his chubby arms. His dad and I took turns chasing after him.

The faster Littler J goes, the faster his arms flail to keep him upright.

I enjoy our trips so much more when we’re not carrying J, I’d explain. They’re more chaotic and less comfortable, but they’re so much more entertaining! Toddlers aren’t concerned with decorum. They just want to run free, whether in the bookstore, in the park, or at home.

It’s a blast to witness, even if it does occasionally slow foot traffic.

(It’s how these little ones learn best, I think.)

I’d tell you how I explained lunar eclipses to Li’l D as we stood in the street. He gazed at the sliver of moon visible above us and asked why “can’t they speed up the show.” I laughed and said we’d discuss that more tomorrow, but that he’d probably better get some sleep tonight.

I’d yawn, rub my eyes and apologize before saying I’m so much more tired than I realized. I hope you don’t mind my saying so, I’d tell you, but I might have to call you tomorrow to ask about your week.

I hope you won’t hold it against me. I want to listen well, but all these words are starting to blend together tonight as my chin drifts toward my chest. I’d better get off the road and into bed before I become a risk at the wheel.

I’d hug you and thank you for your patience. You’d say you know we’ll get together again next week, or the week after, so you’re not worried. We’ll catch up like we always do.

Just get home safe, you’d say, and I’d smile.

You’re always like that, and I’m grateful.


  1. September 27, 2015 at 8:34 pm

    Good to read that the birthday went out well. There will always be people, who are acting stupid and you were lucky to have great people there too.

    • September 28, 2015 at 4:22 pm

      Too true! That’s why only a small portion of the post was dedicated to that ugly bit. 🙂

  2. September 27, 2015 at 11:21 pm

    Sleep well, and dream happy family based dreams.

    • September 28, 2015 at 4:23 pm

      Thank you! I had family based dreams, but they were somewhat sad fallbacks to my preteen days. Tonight I hope I get the family and the happy. I wish you sweet dreams, too.

  3. September 28, 2015 at 3:52 am

    Sounds like a wonderfully blissful and equally chaotic day.. Hate to read about the judgment of others and wishbit didn’t have to happen but I guess some people are just rude like that. You handled well… I might have been equally rude and said something back lol..we almost always get a bounce house or water slide for the kids birthday! Its a right of passage isn’t it?

    • September 28, 2015 at 4:24 pm

      It is! It’s fantastic, and joyful to share with those who recognize it as such! (Also, at $100 for a bounce house, it was much cheaper than last year’s trip to a kid-sized amusement park, all with the benefit of not having to drive 20 miles in traffic to get back home afterward!)

  4. September 28, 2015 at 7:03 am

    Sounds like a great time – and I think it’s mandatory to be exhausted after such events! 🙂

  5. September 28, 2015 at 8:01 am

    Glad the birthday party went well. We haven’t thrown our first official birthday party in New Orleans yet—we moved here in 2013, but year before last (5) Little Jedi wanted to go to the children’s museum and then for pizza and ice cream in Jackson, Mississippi with his cousins (who live in the city) instead of having a party, and this year (6) we threw the party in MS because his birthday was on Easter *and* it started his school’s spring break, so we were worried that people wouldn’t show up but knew his cousins would all be there (my grandmother was also able to be there, and she couldn’t have traveled; we knew it would be her last time to see them all together).

    In 2016, though, we’re going to have to do the friends-from-school birthday party for the first time, and it’s a bit daunting. I want him to be happy and have a fun party, and that is not as easy at it sounds. lol

    Hope you guys had a good day, and hope you actually got to see some of the supermoon. It was too cloudy to see it here last night, unfortunately!

    • September 28, 2015 at 4:26 pm

      I think it’s easy to keep the kids happy … but it’s a little rougher with the parents! Fortunately, if this weekend was any indication, most will be happy to celebrate and chat while their kids run circles around the party. I hope the party turns out a blast for all save the grumpiest of those in attendance! 😀

      • September 30, 2015 at 9:40 am

        Yeah, it’s the kids being at an age where they are totally dependent on parents for the expenses involved and for a ride there and back and for supervision…But once everyone actually gets to the same space, it’s usually alright. Usually! 😀

  6. September 28, 2015 at 10:45 am

    Sounds like a really great party. Love people who have these opinions about spoiling children. As far as I am concerned you can never spoil your children two much. In a blink they will be all grown up enjoy and spoil.

    • September 28, 2015 at 4:27 pm

      The fact Li’l D is six now means I’m one-third of the way through the prime spoiling years! Honestly, I’m usually pretty forthright with him, and we have a lot of earnest conversation, so it feels fantastic to set that aside once in a while and just run free. ♥

  7. September 28, 2015 at 10:53 am

    You are so great for your response to the judgy partygoer. I need to have some replies like that in my back pocket for those kinds of encounters. Also, glad the party was such a hit! ((hugs!))

    • September 28, 2015 at 4:28 pm

      I like to think that I’m getting a little better at it every time I have such an encounter! Silver linings are still silver! 😉

  8. September 28, 2015 at 11:45 am

    Yay!!! lol a bit wordless today – but sooo happy for you. love how you kick ass woman! xo

  9. September 28, 2015 at 12:15 pm

    I’m glad his B-day party went well!

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