Maybe someday

I wrote an autobiography in 2004.

(There are three sentences worth reading in the whole thing.)

I was still broke and without internet after finishing that, so I wrote a trilogy. I published the first book, The Monster’s Daughter, in 2011.

I intended to publish the other two, but then I read them.

No. Just no.

I don’t have enough lifetime to waste editing them.

(Seriously, I’d need a thousand years apiece. I’d do better rewriting them!)

I’ve written a fifth book since. That novel’s first draft is better than The Monster’s Daughter‘s final draft. Despite that, I’m not editing it. I’m not interested.

Maybe someday.

Another half-dozen books whirl around my brain these days. Despite their insistence, I’m not writing them. I’m not interested.

Maybe someday.

For now, I’m content to blog and know I’ve fulfilled the writing maybe-someday that once mattered most to me: I wrote a book.

The rest is gravy.

NOTE

For anyone who ever asked what happened to Joey, highlight below to see the short version:

He’d become a vampire. Ginny, not actually dead, killed his not-so-friendly vampire incarnation. Then, for added giggles, Wendy became a vampire and Ginny had to kill her, too, for I am a cruel bastard.

Don’t like these outcomes? Awesome. I welcome you to imagine your own, which I fully endorse as authentic. The real ending for me–the one in my heart–is much kinder than the one I wrote earlier with my hands.

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  1. September 2, 2015 at 6:17 am

    I think it is completely badass that you have written a book, regardless of whether or not you choose to publish it. The fact that you’ve got FIVE notches in this particular belt?? Even badassier.

    • September 2, 2015 at 8:53 am

      “Badassier” should SO be a word.

    • September 2, 2015 at 10:02 am

      “Badassier” is something I now want to work into every sentence today … even the software contract ones!

      I did publish the one. The time and energy spent editing it was really illuminating. I learned a ton about writing from the editing process! That’s even beyond the “I never want to do this again!” learning. 🙂

      Unfortunately, having learned all that and picked up many additional insights from blogging made looking through those latter two books–before all those new lessons!–excruciating. And yet, I’m glad for them. The experience of writing them kept me going through a rough and lonely time, and remains part of my confidence and resilience now.

      As I said in an older post, what’s run can never be unrun. That fuels my running–literal and with words–more than a decade later.

      I want everyone to have that experience, if they want it! 🙂

      • September 2, 2015 at 10:24 am

        This exchange reminds me of the convo you and I had with Heather over at Becoming Cliche, when she was looking for inspiration to keep going with her own book-editing. So many lessons and so much learning that can come from taking a book idea all the way to completion — regardless of what you do or don’t do with it next!

        It’s an experience I want someday too: to be able to say, “I have now finished my first book.” (Whether or not there’s ever a second one!) I’m not at the right place in my head yet to start — but I’m keeping my eyes on the horizon where that goal lives… 🙂

        • September 2, 2015 at 12:31 pm

          Yay for that! Thank you for reminding me where that conversation happened. I remembered loving the dialogue, but not where the dialogue occurred. 😀

  2. September 2, 2015 at 7:03 am

    personally I think it’s fabulous you wrote those books. I wrote a book almost four years ago and all it needs is the ending and then editing. I am going to try to get this off the ground in September. We will see. PS thanks for following my blogs.

  3. cardamone5
    September 2, 2015 at 7:22 am

    I felt like this post gave me permission to stop writing my memoir, which I have no interest in anymore. I’ve tried to talk myself back into it many times, but the need to do it has diminished. I felt bad about that, like I was giving up. But, I tried something and discovered it is not for me so I am moving on. It was definitely not wasted effort. From it, I accepted my past, resolving some key issues that were blocking present happiness, and, as you say so well, acted on a very powerful impulse to write a book. Was it great? Parts are, but it doesn’t matter because I did it.

    Fondly,
    Elizabeth

  4. Jen
    September 2, 2015 at 7:47 am

    I love the title!

    • September 3, 2015 at 4:54 am

      The story began as something I wrote in my early teens; the title describes what I felt like then, back before I had more nuanced understandings of things. Still love the title, though. 🙂

  5. September 2, 2015 at 8:58 am

    At least you have them there for that ‘someday.’ One day you might decide to open up the ‘drawer,’ pull them out, and blow off the virtual dust. 🙂

    • September 2, 2015 at 12:33 pm

      I was thinking about that a bit this morning! When things get a little slower, the balance might shift. I’d be open to revisiting at least the fifth book then. 😀

    • September 2, 2015 at 12:33 pm

      (I believe, from the hubbub of now!)

  6. September 2, 2015 at 9:22 am

    I wrote an autobiography in 2009. To date, it still stands and the only complete thing I’ve ever written, even though I never even looked at it once it was done.

    • September 2, 2015 at 12:35 pm

      Are you glad to have written it?

      I read the first few chapters of my autobiography a few weeks ago. Someday I might revisit it all. For now, I’ll be glad for what it unleashed … and for sw of the bridges it helped build between me and my siblings.

      • September 2, 2015 at 1:01 pm

        I am glad to have written it, even though I’m sure most of it is junk. I spent pretty much every waking hour for a month writing it and then I never really opened it again. It was just something I had to get out of me and on the record, so to speak.

  7. September 2, 2015 at 11:04 am

    I wonder if I’m the only one that highlighted the hidden text? That was cute btw, 😉 And I liked “The Monster’s Daughter”.

    • September 2, 2015 at 12:36 pm

      Bleas you for saying so! ♡ I did get some very positive feedback, so that I was excited to know I’d inspired those kinds of thoughts, reflections and feelings in someone else. It’s a sweet–if mind-boggling!–thing.

  8. September 2, 2015 at 11:46 am

    Awe. And wonder.
    I often struggle writing a post a week.

  9. September 3, 2015 at 6:56 am

    You are just fantabulous. Having written and published single poems here and there I know how exciting it is to say, “I wrote that.”

    • September 18, 2015 at 4:33 pm

      It is an exciting feeling! What is absolutely flabbergasting and amazing to me is when someone says, “What you wrote touched, and maybe even changed, me.” Words can be so much more powerful than they feel floating around one’s brain!

  10. September 5, 2015 at 6:22 am

    You did it, someday you might do it again. For now, milestone met and fabulously. What else?

  11. September 20, 2015 at 6:50 am

    I love your posts and its so exciting because i learn new words from you thank you for being such a great writer.

  1. January 24, 2016 at 6:01 am

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