Home > Uncategorized > monday❤melt : everything's gonna be okay

monday❤melt : everything's gonna be okay

I was just a week or two away from delivering my younger son, Littler J, when I met Ra in person.

I’d read–and savored–a few of her blogs before I met her. I knew I liked her, but I was pregnant and distracted. I didn’t really know how much I liked her until I met her.

I met her and loved her simultaneous clarity/strength and vulnerability, a rare combination.

And then I delivered Littler J, and lost track of where she was, though I distantly knew she was in prison.

I came back on track far later than I’d have wished …

… and yet: What was, was. What is, is. The past is past when driving with Ra, when I am struck–though never so heartily as reading this blog about me and my guys!–by her rare appreciation for the good in a little chaos, and an ability to adapt (fairly) swiftly to whatever challenges the moment casts.

Farscape, Ra, kid chaos, burps/farts and lots of snuggles: These are all things that make my household what it is. And I’m glad for it all, even if I don’t know for sure what to make of The Great Big Everything ahead. I suppose I’ll deal with “ahead” then.

Now is now, and there is so much loveliness in it.


Mail is late and we’ve already been locked in for the night.
A letter is kicked under the cell door. 

“Just one today,” the officer ponders, “Maybe they all stopped loving you.”

I laugh, a low peal of chuckles– revealing as much about my comfortable relationship with him as my confidence in my world. His booming male-guffaw follows him down the hall.

I pick the letter up off the floor, noticing that my tiles are a little dusty. In a minute, I’ll take out a maxipad and wipe it down by hand. Tomorrow supplies will be restocked, so it should be okay to use one.

But for now, I tear open the seal of the letter with my thumb.

It’s a series of notes.

One from each member of the family.

My family.

Just one I haven’t really met yet.

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. August 31, 2015 at 9:38 pm

    It’s clear the two of you share a very special connection and the powerful relationship is even stronger because of a beautiful reciprocity. I enjoy reading about it, Deborah.

    • September 1, 2015 at 4:10 am

      I think there’s something about how all of us fit together, the littlest ones included: family. 🙂

  2. August 31, 2015 at 10:11 pm

    I love everything about this post! ❤

    • September 1, 2015 at 4:12 am

      Yesterday was the beginning of a revised (shorter) schedule for me. I’d just gotten home in record time and had chocolate in hand when I saw this. Everything really is gonna be OK. ♥

      • September 1, 2015 at 9:53 am

        Oh, thank good, I am so glad you’re on a shorter schedule, lady! I didn’t know where you found time to breathe!

  3. September 1, 2015 at 5:58 am

    Oh, my heart is so full after reading this!

  4. September 2, 2015 at 3:58 pm

    Love your connection

    • September 3, 2015 at 4:54 am

      I’m very grateful for it. ♥

      • September 3, 2015 at 7:42 am

        I love the way you describe it. It’s special for sure. I love those connections that are instant. You just know you mesh well.

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