monday❤melt : everything's gonna be okay
I was just a week or two away from delivering my younger son, Littler J, when I met Ra in person.
I’d read–and savored–a few of her blogs before I met her. I knew I liked her, but I was pregnant and distracted. I didn’t really know how much I liked her until I met her.
I met her and loved her simultaneous clarity/strength and vulnerability, a rare combination.
And then I delivered Littler J, and lost track of where she was, though I distantly knew she was in prison.
I came back on track far later than I’d have wished …
… and yet: What was, was. What is, is. The past is past when driving with Ra, when I am struck–though never so heartily as reading this blog about me and my guys!–by her rare appreciation for the good in a little chaos, and an ability to adapt (fairly) swiftly to whatever challenges the moment casts.
Farscape, Ra, kid chaos, burps/farts and lots of snuggles: These are all things that make my household what it is. And I’m glad for it all, even if I don’t know for sure what to make of The Great Big Everything ahead. I suppose I’ll deal with “ahead” then.
Now is now, and there is so much loveliness in it.
Mail is late and we’ve already been locked in for the night.
A letter is kicked under the cell door.
“Just one today,” the officer ponders, “Maybe they all stopped loving you.”
I laugh, a low peal of chuckles– revealing as much about my comfortable relationship with him as my confidence in my world. His booming male-guffaw follows him down the hall.
I pick the letter up off the floor, noticing that my tiles are a little dusty. In a minute, I’ll take out a maxipad and wipe it down by hand. Tomorrow supplies will be restocked, so it should be okay to use one.
But for now, I tear open the seal of the letter with my thumb.
It’s a series of notes.
One from each member of the family.
Just one I haven’t really met yet.
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