Home > Love, Parenting, Work > Dada

Dada

Honey,

You’ve been doing a great job with our littlest one these last couple of months.

I know you miss your job. I know you miss making television as much as you do telling people what to do and occasionally having them listen instead of crying, running away or howling in wordless rage. I know you love our tiny tyrant even as you wonder what comes next for you.

I’ve seen this all, but I didn’t understand just how hard you’re treading water until I asked you about the salmon.

“Hey, hon–did you put the salmon in the fridge last night?” I asked, poking around the fridge in search of it.

I expected a “yes” or “no.” Instead, tears slid down your cheeks as you whispered, “I can’t win.”

“Oh, hon. It’s fish. We’ll go buy more,” I told you around a hug. I understood your tears were about much more than fish. “If Littler J makes it to the end of the day, it’s a great day, okay?”

Whatever it is you do with Littler during the day, it’s working. I see it in his arms stretched out for you when I pick him up, and how he strains away from me at bedtime before melting into your shoulder. You’re his dada, you love him, and that love reflects back from him to you.

You don’t need to worry about anything else–not endless learning opportunities, continuously undivided attention or housework conquered.

If Littler makes it to the end of the day, it’s a great day … with a great dada. The rest of what you’re searching for?

It’s coming. Great-hard day by great-hard day, it’s coming.

Love,
Deefy

dada

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  1. August 14, 2015 at 5:43 am

    Being a stay home parent is the hardest job you will ever do but so worth it in the end, as I’m sure you know, so hang in there, nothing and no “job” is more important than raising that little child! Blessings to you and your family. Namaste… Michelle

    • August 14, 2015 at 9:55 am

      I remember how excited I was to spend time with Littler J when he was much younger. I had all these visions of everything I was going to get done. He had very different visions, of course. 🙂

      Once I (mostly) accepted other stuff was a bonus, I felt better and had a lot more fun.

      Thank you! A reads my blog and comments, so I suspect he’ll read and take cheer.

  2. Deb
    August 14, 2015 at 6:39 am

    You have an amazing man in your life Deb, and he is setting the bar high for his sons by his example. What joy for Littler, having his daddy with him.

  3. August 14, 2015 at 7:00 am

    Lovely post (and photo). I hope he gets to read it, I know I would appreciate it if my other half wrote one like it.

    • August 14, 2015 at 9:57 am

      I emailed it to him before bed last night. He said he got a little misty-eyed reading it, which made me glad I wrote it even while nodding off.

    • August 15, 2015 at 7:16 am

      Hey … so I was thinking about this last night, and I wanted to say … you, too, are doing a great job. I might not be your other half, but it seemed important to highlight anyway.

      • August 15, 2015 at 12:42 pm

        That’s so kind of you, thank you. I’ve been thinking about you too and how it must feel when Littler D pulls away from you. You’re doing a great job too. You guys are a wonderful team and your boys are lucky to have you both.

  4. NotAPunkRocker
    August 14, 2015 at 7:08 am

    I’ll say it again…you are lucky that you have each other (and the kids, of course) but even luckier that you are so in tune to each other. ❤

    • August 14, 2015 at 9:58 am

      I am so, so grateful. At first I thought my mom wanted me to marry him because he was willing to put up with me. Now I suspect she saw something more; that connection was there even then, and it’s only grown since. ♡

  5. August 14, 2015 at 8:16 am

    Much love to A! ❤ If everyone ends their day alive and with minimal blood, sweat, and tears, it's a good day indeed in the life of a parent. 😉

    • August 14, 2015 at 9:59 am

      Back to you from all of us, lady!
      (My post about you is one of my next-up to republish, BTW. Yay!)

  6. August 14, 2015 at 8:23 am

    Wonderfully written. It is without a doubt the most challenging position in ones life to be a parent but it sure is worth it. I have two grown daughters and a grown grandson I helped raise. God Bless your family.

    • August 14, 2015 at 10:01 am

      It is so worth it! Adjusting to having two was such a challenge, I didn’t believe I’d ever adjust. I wondered what I’d done. Now, of course, I see that the struggle then was so very well worth it for all the joy now. Thank you! 🙂

  7. August 14, 2015 at 8:35 am

    Beautiful post and so true ❤

  8. August 14, 2015 at 8:58 am

    You’re a great, understanding wifey, Deb. Way to support your wonderful menfolk!

    • August 14, 2015 at 10:02 am

      I feel so grateful to have such great menfolk. ♡ (And friends! Also, it is really strange to see the words “great” and “wifey” in relation to me and think in wonder there might be truth to it. Whodathunk, even just a couple years ago?!)

  9. August 14, 2015 at 12:09 pm

    Hugs.
    Salmon, shmalmon.
    Connection with each other and the little tyrants is worth more than an ocean of them.

  10. August 14, 2015 at 12:50 pm

    If he didn’t put the kid in the fridge and read a bedtime story to the salmon, he’s getting it right… 🙂

    • August 15, 2015 at 7:22 am

      This made me LOL. YES!

      May I tweet this, with attribution?

      • August 15, 2015 at 9:48 am

        I would love you to – thank you!

        • August 15, 2015 at 9:51 am

          I shared it with a link to your blog as attribution. (Do you tweet?) Hope it makes someone else giggle! ♥

          • August 15, 2015 at 9:56 am

            I do not. Nor do I Facebook or Instagram or … whatever else is out there. I know I should, and maybe I will one day when I have published my book and need to market it … but I look forward to that aspect of authoring with considerable dread.

          • August 15, 2015 at 9:58 am

            Understood. I have attributed correctly, then!

  11. August 17, 2015 at 5:25 am

    I read blogs about bad parenting, and I look around and can see bad parenting, and then I read this blog, and A is so full of heart and love for his kids, how can you do anything except give him a hug?

  12. August 18, 2015 at 4:05 am

    This made me weepy. Fortunate are your sons for the examples of love they have surrounding them.

    • August 18, 2015 at 5:26 am

      I am so grateful to have them, and to think what they’ll pass on to their own kids (such people come to be) having been surrounded by this. ♥

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