Home > Family, Love, Parenting, Personal > I am still Mom

I am still Mom

An era is almost over.

I stopped pumping months ago, when I was able to drive over and nurse Littler J at lunchtime.

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I wasn’t interested in returning to pumping afterward (who would be?!), but couldn’t bring myself to relinquish my “mom room” access at work.

Littler J is weaning now. He laughs and sticks out his tongue when I try to nurse him, though he’s–hesitantly–accepted anyway. So far.

Much as breastfeeding has been challenging, it has also been beautiful. Some of the best conversations I ever had with my mom were about breastfeeding, when she’d encourage me through my rough first six weeks trying to nurse Li’l D. Saying goodbye to nursing feels like saying goodbye to those moments, even knowing they will forever be a part of me.

Tonight I’ll fly to visit my sisters. Rache just weaned her little boy. This, then, seemed like the perfect time to acknowledge what is already true: Pumping is over. Nursing is almost over. This era is almost over.

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I relinquished my access, understanding:

As one era ends, another begins. I’ll remember that tonight, and feel a little of my mom in Rache, my niece, and one of my sweet little nephews.

Nursing or no, I am still Mom … and forever my own mom’s daughter.

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  1. July 9, 2015 at 11:52 am

    I took trips to wean my first two kids. It was a good thing. Good luck through this process.

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:57 am

      I did that with Littler D. He weaned when I was in Chicago getting my head shaved a few years back. That felt gentler, somehow.

      • July 9, 2015 at 2:04 pm

        I did that with my first, when I went to my sister’s for her (younger) baby’s baptism. I thought it would be easy since I only nursed twice a day. By the second day away I was so engorged, leaking and in pain that I grabbed her baby and nursed her.

        I realize that sounds really, really weird. In my defense, that’s how they did things hundreds of years ago when wealthy women always had a wet nurse to feed the babies. But it still sounds weird.

        • July 9, 2015 at 2:57 pm

          It doesn’t sound weird to me at all! I’d do it for my sisters’ babies (were they regressed in time) and hope they’d feed mone however they could if I was unable … or if it helped them, like with your story or, say, if they could only carry 10 pounds of pot roast in their car but had made 20. In that case, I’d be happy to “help” with the extra 10 instead of forcing them to toss it. 🙂

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:58 am

      (Thank you!)

  2. July 9, 2015 at 11:56 am

    Awww…thats so touching ….salute to moms

  3. July 9, 2015 at 1:18 pm

    YES. You are still Mom, even if breastfeeding is ending. Nourishing your boys goes far beyond milk. You’ll always have the tender moments you shared, but as this era ends, a new one begins. Hugs!

  4. July 9, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    Once a mother, always a mother. No matter how old you are, your children are, or where any of you are.
    It is a permanent title. The job description changes, but the title remains…

  5. July 9, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    I have a bump on my shoulder that my youngest would rub when he nursed. For years after weaning he would climb into my lap, run his had up my arm and find the bump, bringing back all of the beautiful memories. Thanks for bringing that memory back to me. ❤

  6. July 9, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    Aw 😦 Not having any luck with nursing has been one of my big “now I’ll never get to…” things with accepting that we aren’t having anymore babies.

    • July 12, 2015 at 5:49 am

      I’m sorry. (Sorry, too, for the unfortunate comment error a moment ago; tapped the wrong spot on my phone.)

  7. July 10, 2015 at 6:10 am

    Well geez, I hope you are still a mom even though you are moving out of the breast feeding era! I loved, loved, loved breast feeding and mourned when it was over, but so many other things get to take the place of that, and there are so many more challenges and adventures ahead!

    • July 12, 2015 at 5:51 am

      This is a truly awesome thought, especially surrounded by my sisters’ kids. What adventures I hope they all will have, with all us moms and dads cheering them on!

  8. July 10, 2015 at 11:44 am

    I had one of those frozen in time moments when I was nursing Julia. I looked down and saw her big wide eyes locking into mine and my heart just exploded with pure love. When I think back to all the breastfeeding issues I had that one moment is forever etched in my soul. It was all worth it and I was one blessed mom to be able to share that moment with her one last time.

    • July 12, 2015 at 5:58 am

      ♡♡♡

      Rache described her last moment so lovingly. I hope I’ll know that as a last before it’s over. If not, there will be many sweet memories, some of moments and others of feelings … none that I would ever have imagined those first six weeks almost six years ago.

      ♡♡♡

  9. July 11, 2015 at 8:31 am

    One of my sisters had children 10 months apart, they could have been twins they were so close. It was always strange to see her nursing both of them at the same time. She nursed until eldest was nearly two years old. This was also strange, but then she was a strange woman (just my opinion).

    You are always, forever and ever, Mom.

    • July 12, 2015 at 6:01 am

      I nursed Li’l D for two and a half years, with the last year being upon awakening and at bedtime. I loved it, but it was definitely time for us. This time, “time” is coming much sooner! I was hoping for a year and a half, but that’s like a number thrown at a dartboard. 🙂

  10. July 12, 2015 at 9:19 pm

    Nursing is such a special bond. I’m remembering how sad (but relieved) I was when it was finally time to move on. I hope the weaning goes well. It’s wonderful that you have Rache to share with, too.

    • July 18, 2015 at 6:10 am

      He’s still going, surprisingly. I’m enjoying most moments, knowing I’ll miss them when they’re gone … even as I celebrate seeing that little boy growing. ♥

  11. cardamone5
    July 16, 2015 at 6:39 am

    Beautiful. I tried like heck to nurse my twins, but my own anxiousness/perfectionism/sensitivity got in my way. I am glad you persevered. And, isn’t it wonderful how we feel our moms’ presences in such pivotal moments. They truly do live in through us.

    Love,
    E

    • July 18, 2015 at 6:14 am

      It was so funny looking back and remembering my first six weeks. At that point, I had no idea that it’d take, and would take so long. I also didn’t really realize how much my mom was in those moments until I took J to see the amazing lactation consultant. How sitting on that same floor catapulted me back!

      Happy Saturday. ♥

  1. August 8, 2015 at 7:59 am

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