Home > Blogging, Communication, Family, Personal, Reflections > Ditching URLs for stars

Ditching URLs for stars


Scintillating stuff, it was

I’ve kept a journal since I was eleven or twelve.

My mom read my journal starting when I was eleven or twelve.

I sought out every possible hiding spot in hopes I’d find the one she couldn’t discover; she, knowing me and our house better than I understood, found them all.

I couldn’t admit defeat. Hope compelled me to keep searching for that mystical place of unfindability.

The search became ingrained. We’re talking the kind of ingrained where I instinctively still hide anything and everything containing any journal-like text a full five years after my mom’s death. Because, as you can see from reading my blog at this very moment, my life is shrouded in secrecy.

I recently hid my iPad.

“Ooh! This is a great spot!” I remember thinking as I tucked it away before running out the door.

Did I remember the exact spot that evening, a couple weeks ago? Sure didn’t!

Have I remembered it since? Sure haven’t!

But the funny thing is … I only sweated it the first couple of days.

Until I misplaced it, I failed to see how much time I was sinking into checking it almost minutely. Into avoiding there being some blog or political piece I’d missed reading (or writing) because I’d set it down when my kids were in bed.

A few days after “misplacing” it, I kinda hoped it would stay gone.

Tablets provide easy incessant access to everything, everywhere, all the time. If I want to compute in PJs on my sofa for four hours, I can. I don’t have to (GASP) cramp my style sitting at a desktop computer like I’m back in 1983, or cramp my hands navigating on a phone for more than five or ten minutes.

Taking away my tablet took away my incessant access.

What a slow-moving, calming treat that has been!

It’s reminded me to wonder:

Would I rather be glued to my iPad or stare up at the sky for a moment?

Maybe read one of the dozens of unread books I forgot I owned?

Perhaps just stand in the doorway of my sons’ room and listen to them snore?

I kinda hope I don’t find my iPad anytime soon.

If I do, I might just have to hide it again,

ditching URLs

for stars.

moon palm

  1. April 12, 2015 at 9:11 pm

    I vote for stars and books and relaxed evenings!

  2. Samson
    April 12, 2015 at 9:40 pm

    This is quickly becoming a zeitgeist. My own journey with technology is taking a parallel path to yours. I’m more and more disenchanted with it (and with myself for spending time on it). Seriously considering buying a typewriter or a single-function word processor so that when I want to write, I write. That’s all.

    • April 13, 2015 at 4:31 am

      I went through a hands free period a couple years ago. Those principles guided me in a more abstract way, but I think I got back to the point where I was counting minutes away from devices instead of being present. I’m so glad to feel it deeply again for now, instead of in a counting-minutes way. I will work to keep the feeling around.

      I love the thought of getting a typewriter to enable all of the writing with none of the distraction! The goodness will ripple out beyond writing, I think.

  3. April 12, 2015 at 10:01 pm

    Reblogged this on rennydiokno.com.

  4. April 13, 2015 at 3:05 am

    Lovely post. I read this after a night where I woke up at 3 am and couldn’t get back to sleep. I looked out the window and the sky was beautiful. Stars were everywhere! I wondered, hmmm, can I see Orion’s belt tonight? But then noticed that tablet on the table next to me and soooo felt that pull you describe! Finally settled on a book for a few minutes before going back to sleep. Great encouragement though–I need to hide my tablet too…..(and phone and computer and kindle….) 🙂

    • April 13, 2015 at 4:36 am

      Love it! I had been hanging out with my iPad as I moved around the house straight up until bedtime, and sometimes even pulling it into bed with me if I felt like sleep would resist me.

      Last week, I read from the (print) Hyperbole and A Half book before bedtime last week. I laughed and was fully transported, and slept decently for once. The same thing happened the next night. I ended up getting a couple more (offline) humor books to endorce the transition. It was a great move, with my sleep improving tremendously over a single week.

      It ia so good to see how things are connected even without the Internet.

  5. April 13, 2015 at 6:43 am

    Last week I had to delete the FB and FB messenger applications from my phone and tablet. I was just journaling about why, and it is remarkably similar. I found myself obsessively checking in, and 99% of the time I was reading useless information that I allowed to make my brain dull. It is interesting that a lot of people I know are on a similar path, and I love that once again you hit it on the nose. We’re all made of stardust, not binary 1’s and 0’s.

  6. NotAPunkRocker
    April 13, 2015 at 9:03 am

    Funny how it works out better than you planned, right? 🙂

  7. April 13, 2015 at 9:46 am

    lol. brilliant! and soooooo effin true hahaha. enjoy the stars deborah…and those little snores are priceless 😉

  8. April 13, 2015 at 2:46 pm

    Technology is such a time-sucker, it can make us forget that real life is so much more important.

    Except that THIS blog is on the internet and I’m accessing it with a computer and I’m glad I can access it so…yeah.

  9. April 13, 2015 at 9:19 pm

    i can actually relate to this feeling. but in a way that my charger was misplaced in my part. so, i was really disconnected. hehe. even my diary was actually an app in my tablet. so at first i felt kinda devastated not being able to write things in my head. lol. later on i made myself adjust being able to write now more on paper and pen for everyday thoughts; and in my tablet or blog about big stuffs going on in my head. heheh!
    Really inspired to pursue on finishing the book i have in hand since holy week because of this…
    It’s reminded me to wonder:

    Would I rather be glued to my iPad or stare up at the sky for a moment?

    Maybe read one of the dozens of unread books I forgot I owned?

    Perhaps just stand in the doorway of my sons’ room and listen to them snore?

    Have a great -simple life, my friend!:)

  10. April 14, 2015 at 4:48 am

    Standing in the doorway of your son’s room simply to hear them snore. What a great idea! I am a firm believer that there is a time an place for things such as ipads. However, I have been known to be sucked into my own screen. Going to reblog and for today, hide my access and be human. Maybe tomorrow too!

  11. April 14, 2015 at 6:34 pm

    I have a iPad, I rarely use it and have not really enabled it to do much other than Solitare and music. Mostly I carry it when I travel, I suppose someday I might learn to use it; maybe.

    My vote is for sky, stars and snores.

  12. April 14, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    Hm…I’ve done the same (with my LapTop). I hide it when we leave and then come home and can’t find it. Drives me nuts!!! I can relate to the need to “unplug” sometimes, though. I caught the Princess and I sitting in the dark in the living room one night, totally engrossed in “our screens” and not even talking to each other…..It was a sad, sad commentary on how “addicted” we are to technology. Hm…think it’s time I listen to the Princess snore!! (Beats listening to Molly snore every night!!!) 🙂

  13. Jeannie
    April 15, 2015 at 3:58 pm

    You and I lived parallel lives in so many ways!!! I too had a journal that I hid constantly and my mother would find it, read it and I would punished for what I wrote in it 😦 My girls both have journals, I don’t touch them, they lay out in plain view but, I will not ever look into them. Their private thoughts,wishes, dreams and THEIRS! Thank you for constantly reminding me I wasn’t the only one, I appreciate it ❤

  14. April 15, 2015 at 4:19 pm

    Wonderfully written and I agree, which makes me laugh because I am sitting on my sofa doing this on my phone!

  15. April 16, 2015 at 1:13 am

    I’ve kept a journal since I was eleven or twelve.

    Well, I guess that explains your long history with blogging.

    I’m still bound to a desktop; my wife got a tablet from a friend (else no chance we’d have one). She had a laptop before that. Sometimes, she uses her desktop WHILE she is using her tablet.

    Your post reminded me of time I’ve spent camping. Due to chronic illness, I’m not able to “rough it” the way I used to; I think we’d have to slowly scrape money for many years to get a camper rig or something like that. Even if I could manage regardless, I think I’d have an testy disagreement with my wife about electronic devices. I do not like camping with them. I think my ladies (I dunno about my son) would have withdrawals; electronic-free days-weeks have not always gone well.

  16. June 11, 2015 at 2:59 pm

    My mom sounds a little like yours. She found every hiding spot. There was no such thing as privacy in our house. Hopefully two quick stories will illustrate.

    One time mom and step-dad had a fight. We came back home and she thought it was odd he was gone and hadn’t left a note. As we watched, she proceeded to find a highly-shredded note in the kitchen garbage. Whatever he had written he’d obviously changed his mind. She dug through and retrieved every piece, then over a period of a few hours reassembled that sucker on the kitchen counter. Lesson learned. You’re a nut.

    One time I wrote some private thoughts down on a piece of paper. Then I realized I didn’t want mom to find them. If I’d seen more movies I would have known fire was my best option. Instead I cleaned my room, hid the paper in the sleeve an old record album, buried the album under a ton of trash and pitched it all in the garbage can. After a little while, though, that didn’t feel quite safe enough so I went back and dug out the album. Yup, yup. My papers were already gone. To this day, as far as I know, she probably has them framed in her house somewhere.

    I know this kind of stuff wasn’t the primary thrust of your article but I couldn’t help myself. I had to share. 🙂

  1. June 11, 2015 at 12:27 pm

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