Home > Blogging, Family, Parenting, Personal, Work > The good behind and the GREAT ahead

The good behind and the GREAT ahead

Calendars everywhere tell me it’s almost 2015, but that can’t be right. I’m still writing checks for the year 2000!

For now I’ll pretend calendars are right and tell you about the year 20002014 as I lived it:

  • Me and Littler JI met my second son, Littler J, on the ten-year anniversary of my meeting his father. It was love at first sight.
  • I wanted to encourage my older son’s love of school-based learning, leading me to enroll him at an alternative school. The experience was terrible; I spent the first few months of Littler J’s life kicking myself for not recognizing Li’l D signs of distress earlier. As the year progressed, I delighted in seeing my son flourishing once more, and growing into a love of reading and math thanks to teachers happy to welcome him back to his old school.
  • My husband was promoted to assistant directing after years of working as a Production Assistant. (I had a chance to witness him flourishing in this new role; it was beautiful.)
  • Li’l D started kindergarten. (But didn’t I just bring him home from the hospital?!?!)
  • IMG_20140815_111106I celebrated my brother-in-law’s commencement of medical school. While the accomplishment was his own, it was beautifully bound up in a shared history that once led my mom to say he’d always be our family … even if he and my sister ever broke up. I wept for me, for him, for my mom, and most of all for hope as I watched him receive his short coat.
  • I seized an opportunity to be a work at home mom. I relished the extra time with my boys, which relishing didn’t stop me from realizing I very, very much enjoy working–and especially negotiating, with adultsin an office setting. (More on that revelation later!)
  • I accepted an offer to begin an exciting job in the new year. (More on that later!)

A couple of my most visited posts were actually written last year (What report cards can’t report; On your first Christmas without her). Those written this year were:

  1. dad raceDear Mom: I share a birthday with my mom. I’ve written about her on our shared birthday for each of the years since she died. This was the first year I wrote to her. I only wish I’d done it sooner.
  2. My husband’s mistress: I visited my husband at work assistant directing on Dog With A Blog. As mentioned above, it was rad. Like, totally.
  3. Bitch: I prefer being nice, but “I will not sacrifice my well being, integrity or safety to earn your ‘nice’ seal of approval.”
  4. Casting light over fixing grief: There’s no fixing grief, and I wanted people to understand both why … and why we should stop trying.
  5. Father: No Longer A Dirty Word: There are some unflattering images of what it means to be a Black dad. To counter that, I wanted to share what fatherhood looks like to me now.

My interest in blogging–or being near a computer when not at work–waxed and waned. I was so grateful for those who commented whether I posted daily or weekly:

  1. Valentine Logar
  2. disappearingwoman
  3. Kate @ Did That Just Happen?
  4. pegoleg
  5. catherinemryan

(I can only see the top five, but a few others whose comments always inspired me were nicciatfield, Belladonna Took, Victo Dolore and Elephant’s Child. I ♥ them and you.)

As I reflect on another year almost past, I can’t help but also wonder about the year to come. What will 20012015 look like? I’m not sure, but my suspicions and beliefs now mirror those I expressed at the end of 2009:

Some of the good things I cannot foresee, but as I close out this entry, I can say truthfully this is something I greet with joy. If I knew everything that was to come, what would be the point in living it, and experiencing each of these peaks and valleys of the beautiful thing called life?

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  1. nicciattfield
    December 30, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    Thank you so much for the kind words! Meeting Littler J…I remember meeting Danny for the first time, and so loving her! the year that was has gone by so quickly. I remember your post on how you were in no rush for your pregnancy to end, and that doesn’t feel very long ago! I hope the new year brings lots of beautiful memories for you and your family!

    • December 30, 2014 at 12:28 pm

      I really can’t wrap my mind around the fact the year is gone, and that little fella I just wrote about (not knowing he was a fella) has spent the better part of a year in my life!

      I know there are going to be some hard times, as there were this year, but I really feel like the sweet stuff will rise above that. But let’s see what I’m saying in twelve months that feel like two, eh?! It will be interesting to compare.

      Happy new year! ♥

  2. December 30, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    What a wonderful recap! I love reading your words whether I comment or not. Happy new year! Xoxo

  3. December 30, 2014 at 12:57 pm

    Sounds like you have clear skies. Full speed ahead. 🙂

  4. December 30, 2014 at 12:57 pm

    Love and laughter to you and yours for the coming year. It WILL be a mixture of the good and bad, but I hope the bad is tiny. And surmountable.

    • December 30, 2014 at 1:01 pm

      Me, too. But even if the bad isn’t so small, I have high hopes we’ll take strength, resilience and insight from it! ♥

  5. December 30, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    You have had an overall lovely year, I’d say, Deb! The beginning of a new year is always ripe for adventure. I wish you all the best and know that I’m thinking of you and giving you hugs always. XOXO-Kasey

    • December 30, 2014 at 1:10 pm

      I hope the year ahead is lovely for you! And I hope, too, to write you closer to as often as I think about you. ♥

  6. December 30, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    What a wonderfully full year you’ve had. May 2015 bring more of the same!

  7. terrikurczewski
    December 30, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    Next year is going to be even better 🙂 cheers to you and your family in 2015!!

  8. terrikurczewski
    December 30, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    Wait, meant to reply to Deb! But cheers and well wishes to you too!

  9. December 30, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    What a fabulous year and recap! Happy, happy 2015 to you and yours, Deb! xoxo

    • December 30, 2014 at 7:42 pm

      Happy 2015 to you and yours as well! I’m excited to see what’s to come, but more than that, take and savor each moment as it comes. ♥

  10. December 30, 2014 at 4:12 pm

    What a year you’ve had! I’m so happy to have been along and enjoyed your journey!

  11. December 30, 2014 at 6:24 pm

    Aw, dear Deb, you had an amazingly memorable year. I just realized that Lil’ D was still two when I began following you on my old blog. Time certainly does fly!
    I hope you and your guys have an absolutely fabulous 2015! ❤

    • December 30, 2014 at 7:44 pm

      Li’l D actually was going through one of my boxes a couple days ago and found the birthday card you sent me 2-3 years ago. I had to try explaining how you and I know each other, which he seemed to kind of get. All of it made me smile! Much love to you and yours in 2015–and, of course, beyond!

  12. December 31, 2014 at 5:32 am

    I need you in my world like I need oxygen, you lift me up and ground me. I am always so grateful I found you and clicked follow, I suspect that was the smartest thing I did that week, if not that entire month.

    I wish for you and yours a jubilant, triumphant, prosperous, healthy, loving and productive 2015!

    As always, I love you. ❤

  13. December 31, 2014 at 8:37 am

    I love it! What a great recap. You are so gracious!

  14. NotAPunkRocker
    December 31, 2014 at 11:15 am

    I am with you on the work at home/away thing. I have to have both,not all of one or the other. Looking forward to hearing about your new opportunity soon!

    Happy new year to y’all! 🙂

  15. December 31, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    Wishing you the best in 2015!

  16. December 31, 2014 at 9:55 pm

    Happy New Year! I am excited to read about your new work opportunities, how awesome! I hope that 2015 brings nothing but the best for you and your family.

  17. January 1, 2015 at 10:16 am

    I loved this, Happy New Year. (It also gave me a chance to read a post I missed – Bitch – a post I most definitely needed to read!) Thank you!

  18. January 2, 2015 at 8:25 am

    Sounds like life has been good. Have a wonderful New Year.

  19. January 25, 2015 at 5:17 pm

    Wow, that was some year! Congratulations on so many lovely milestones and experiences and best wishes for another year full of adventures. I appreciate your honesty and grace. xo

  1. December 26, 2015 at 2:14 am

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