Home > Communication, Family, Health, Humor, Parenting, Personal > Chips and candy for every meal!

Chips and candy for every meal!

Yesterday I explained “opinion” to my five-year-old son, Li’l D.

I washed dishes as I followed up that even two people who love each other very much can have different ones. (My godmother and I are a great example of this.)

As usual, Li’l D tested my explanation immediately. “Not me and Daddy!” he cried. “We agree about everything!”

I gave him my version of The Look. Unfortunately, mine has not yet been captured on film, so I have to demonstrate my husband’s.

Come on, now

“Do you think Daddy should have let you win your Smurfs game a few minutes ago?” Li’l D had only joined me in the kitchen after sulking his loss under our dining room table for several minutes.

“Yes!” He didn’t even hesitate for one full second.

“Well, then, you and your dad have different opinions. You–”

“Okay, we have one different opinion. But everything else is the same!”

I searched for another good example. I asked, “Do you think you should be able to watch TV all day every day?”

Li’l D’s face lit up as he completely forgot what we were talking about, latching onto this as a genuine possibility for new world order. He was all in. “Yes! Let’s turn it on now!”

I laughed. “No, kiddo. See, that’s something else you and your daddy have different opinions on. He knows there are other things you have to do to be healthy.”

Li’l D waved off my statement. “That’s only two things! Everything else, we’re exactly the same.”

“Really? Do you think you should get to eat chips and candy bars for every meal?”

“Yesyesyes!” I chuckled at his enthusiasm. Based on his answer, a stranger wouldn’t believe he contentedly eats mostly Whole9 with me, or that he’s had only about a half-dozen pieces of his Halloween candy. His dad and I haven’t withheld it from him. He just usually doesn’t think much about that jar full of treats.

candy

Still, there’s clearly a discrepancy between what he lives and his ideal.

“Sorry, sweetheart. This is something else your daddy and you have different opinions on. If you only ate chips and candy, you’d get pretty sick. So that’s three things right off the top–”

“Yeah, yeah, but everything else we agree on!”

I stopped doing dishes and looked at Li’l D. I’d just pulled out three examples in a twenty-second window. If I wanted, I could probably find dozens more in another two minutes.

Sometimes I have to let go of expecting his understanding now. Yesterday, looking at my son’s sweet, optimistic face, I understood that he admires and wants to be like his daddy. Time will take some of that away as he finds more and more things he wishes his daddy would do or see differently. Why hurry this process to which time will attend?

“Sure you do, kiddo,” I said as I kissed him on the top of his head. “Sure you do.”

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dad race

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  1. November 29, 2014 at 7:39 am

    What great understanding you have and showed yesterday! Beautiful post!

    • November 29, 2014 at 7:41 am

      I blame this on Anthony. We had little bits of conversation throughout the day how his mellowness helps me slow down a little and look for different perspectives. That helps me lock on my real goals when I might otherwise get lost in the minutiae. 🙂

  2. November 29, 2014 at 7:42 am

    Such cute pictures! Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving! 🙂

    • November 29, 2014 at 7:44 am

      It was lovely! It was our first chance in many months to just spend the day at home together, so it ended up being our first holiday together at home. It was both low key and lovely. I hope yours was also lovely. ♥

  3. November 29, 2014 at 8:12 am

    I remember when the twins used to tell me all the time how they wanted to be like me. Sigh…

    • November 29, 2014 at 8:18 am

      I remember my own transition from thinking my mom could do no wrong to thinking she could do nothing right. No need to hasten it here!

  4. November 29, 2014 at 8:52 am

    Wise choice. It’ll happen on its own. As you say, why rush it!

    • December 1, 2014 at 6:00 pm

      Indeed! It can be hard to shift between my work and mom communication styles, even between jobs! 😀

  5. November 29, 2014 at 9:31 am

    Kids’ concrete thinking keeps them from more sophisticated reasoning, doesn’t it. But as you say, why rush the process? They’re growing up happens fast enough as it is. Let’s enjoy their innocence while we can. 🙂

  6. November 29, 2014 at 10:30 am

    What a great story and what great parents. Yes, allowing him to put his Dad on a pedestal for now is wise. Its a special time in a child’s life.

  7. November 29, 2014 at 11:08 am

    I think the important thing is, he and his daddy have the same core values. Yeah, I know, he’s too little for something as sophisticated as “core values” – but he’s growing them, and they’re the same shape as his daddy’s. Everything else is just Stuff…:) Great post; I love the way you share these snapshots of your family!

  8. November 29, 2014 at 11:41 am

    How lovely that his father is firmly on the hero pedestal at the moment.

  9. November 29, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    My oldest once told me he thought his mother and father had children so I could have kids just like me. I sat across the dinner table and shuddered at the thought. Then I smiled at him and said, “Of course they did honey, that is exactly what happened”. He told his mother this very same thing, he was very much like me still is. It is very strange.

    You were very sweet to stop when you did. All in good time Deb, all in good time.

  10. December 1, 2014 at 7:06 am

    You gave him some good ideas 😉 By the way… how did you get it to snow on your page? I LOVE IT!!!

    • December 1, 2014 at 5:59 pm

      I turned it on last year, so I had to look this up again! (It turns off automatically on 1/4.) Click “Settings” in your dashboard. The very last option is a checkbox enabling you to toggle snow. 🙂

  11. December 1, 2014 at 7:44 am

    Awwwwwwwww.

    My kids would do just about anything, including denying I’m their father, if the result were TV/Video games all the time and a lifetime of chips & candy & ice-cream for dinner.

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