Some days

Some days begin at 2 a.m., when your husband texts from the ER to say all is well (enough).

Some days feature 3 a.m. arguments over things that can’t possibly be resolved by dark of night.

Some days there’s almost no sleep to be found, but still so much work to be done anyway.

Some days you leave home late without breakfast, no matter how hungry.

Some days you have to leave your not fully healthy kids at daycare because you already took two mandatory sick days last week.

Some days, you’re stuck behind a school bus with flashing red lights for 15 minutes. Twice.

Some days you go to pump milk for your baby only to discover you left the bottles on your home kitchen counter.

Some days you begin weeping over a stack of invoices as if the invoices are the problem.

Some days the best you can do is step out into the sunshine for a minute and take what comfort you can in remembering just how many other “some days” you have already conquered.

By the time the next “some day” comes along, this one will be but another reminder of your fortitude.

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  1. September 3, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    And on those ‘some days’ I try and remember the other, more numerous ‘some days’. The days when my clothes fit, there was sufficient milk for my early morning cuppa, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and I have enough. Enough time, enough energy, enough love, enough joy…

    • September 6, 2014 at 8:52 am

      Such things are far too ephemeral for me on my “some days.” Most days, those are the kinds of thoughts that get me through. On my “some days,” though, I need something solid and earthy to hold on to, and for me, that’s the knowledge I’ve weathered like (and even worse) before.

  2. September 3, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    Some days are just wrong. Some days hurt. You’re right, though, some days have already been beaten.

    • September 6, 2014 at 8:57 am

      What’s funny is that by sitting down to articulate this, this “some day” lost its hold on me. I was still sick. Still sleep deprived. Still exhausted. But it was OK, because I’d grounded myself.

  3. September 3, 2014 at 3:48 pm

    Some days just suck! Fortunately, if we are lucky, we are given tomorrow to start fresh!

    • September 6, 2014 at 8:58 am

      The day after I wrote this was much better! I’m still sick right now, and still waking up multiple times a night due to Littler J also being sick, but a little quiet and a little more sleep made all the difference. (So did a work shift-up allowing me to be so much closer to my sons during the day! Suck it, 3-hour commute!)

  4. September 3, 2014 at 4:39 pm

    Totally done all this…. And survived. We always survive.

    • September 6, 2014 at 8:59 am

      There’s just that one single day we won’t. But up until then? We’re a lot more beefcake than it sometimes feels like. 🙂

  5. September 3, 2014 at 6:56 pm

    I think I’m going to print this out and put it on my dresser so I’m reminded every day that ‘some days’ come and go and I’m not the only one crying over a dirty kitchen floor because I don’t have the energy to mop it

    • September 6, 2014 at 9:01 am

      In addition to wanting to reach through the screen and give you an enormous hug, I want to affirm it is definitely not just you. I’ve had a bunch of these days in recent memory; this was the worst, due to a week and a half of sickness related sleep deprivation, but then … by writing this, by reminding myself, the sucktitude lost much of its power over me. I hope this reminder will have the same impact on you. ♥

  6. September 4, 2014 at 2:48 am

    This is beautiful, on a morning where I woke at 3:45 wondering why, when I’m trying so hard to get more sleep and erase those dark circles under my eyes. I agree w/Sally above, these words are worth printing out to remember–we do endure–no matter what and are stronger the next day. Thank you Deb! I’m glad to see you are hanging in there at a time of great change.

    • September 6, 2014 at 9:04 am

      Thank you so much for your kind words, Robin! A few months back, I texted a friend and asked when she got used to having two kids. I hoped she’d say “around 3 months,” and felt so hopeless when she said something like “7 or 8 months.” I’m still not totally on solid footing, but I’m much closer to being there, and it’s heartening to use this opportunity to look and see how far I’ve already come. We really are capable of enduring, and better still, laughing afterward. Happy weekend!

  7. September 4, 2014 at 8:11 am

    And some day you will be sending them off to college and the only days you will remember are the good days, the loving smiles and the happy times you had together. With tears rolling down your cheeks you wouldn’t trade the difficulties and sacrifices for anything, because your fortitude is love manifested and you see the result in your beautiful adult children.

    • September 6, 2014 at 9:09 am

      Such a beautiful comment! It’s amazing how much emotion you convey in a couple of sentences.

      For me, this wasn’t strictly a parenting post; it’s about everything converged. So relatively new into my parenting journey, I already feel each day the joy and sadness of looking at Li’l D and realizing that, though it feels like I just took him home yesterday, he’s almost five.

      99% of days, I hold the knowledge of how fleeting this all is close to heart. 1% of days, I just don’t have it in me, but try guiding myself back to the knowledge I will before too, too long.

      I know my mom focused on a lot of the bad stuff, especially in her latter years. Seeing that was a profound lesson to me in learning from the bad, but striving always for the sweetness there as well. I hope to and believe I will remember as you describe. ♥

      • September 6, 2014 at 10:11 am

        Yes, I made that comment because I can tell that you will be one to only remember the good, because you deal with the rest when it happens. Too many people push stuff down, trying to avoid or hide from the difficult emotions, only to find that those emotions resurface more strongly later on. But it’s all part of love and learning and you are dealing with is so well.

  8. September 4, 2014 at 10:53 am

    Yes, yes, yes! Some days are rough days, and some days joyous. We use both kinds to balance and appreciate life, and to learn that sometimes a little warm sun on the face feels good enough to get us through. XOXO-Kasey

    • September 6, 2014 at 9:11 am

      YES! I felt so overwhelmed. I couldn’t think how to get myself out of it. Rather than trying to solve the big problem, I thought, “I’ll step into the light and see what comes after that.” It’s amazing how much just stepping into the light pushed me further along. (And then, for an added bonus? The sense of community that followed writing this up and hearing from so many people whose wisdom and warmth I cherish. LOVE!)

  9. September 4, 2014 at 5:19 pm

    Some days, the sun comes out, the baby smiles, the first son says ‘I love you’ and you realize the other some days, well they are not all that often and they are paid forward.

    I love you. Does that help at all?

    • September 6, 2014 at 9:13 am

      “they are not all that often.” The other stuff seems so unreachable to me on some days, but truths like this also feel inescapable. They help, as does love. Posting this was the best thing I could have done, honestly. I got the release of writing and the rush of love afterward, through these beautiful comments. I love you.

  10. September 4, 2014 at 11:16 pm

    It’s like reading the many somedays of my life. Somedays, things are hard, crazy, stressful. Somedays, we are are at the top of world, all happy and wishing it’ll never end. Somedays we realized how lucky we are to have our health, to have a family, to have love by our side when things are tough. Wishing you and your family, days of blessings, joy and all things beautiful.

    • September 6, 2014 at 9:15 am

      Thank you. It’s been rough adjusting to two-child parenthood, but beautiful as well. Some days I scrape through by the skin of my teeth right now, but many, so many, are full of love and wonder despite all the tiredness. I am grateful for all of it.

  11. September 5, 2014 at 6:57 am

    One day you will look back and miss the “some days.” Really — you will.

    • September 6, 2014 at 9:16 am

      I believe it, here on the other side of my most recent such day.
      (So good to see you here!)

  1. June 1, 2015 at 7:50 pm
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