Home > Family, Health, Parenting > Nothing left for the dog

Nothing left for the dog

Life was a cakewalk before I had kids. I had to work, eat, sleep, pay bills, and spend a minimal amount of time caring for my dog.

Priorities? Who needed those? Everything would get done with hours left to lounge around eating ice cream and drinking beer while fishing in Warcraft’s beautiful Mulgore.

Now, free time and free energy are extremely rare luxuries. I prioritize each because I must.

Do I ignore the dog because I want to? Heck, no.

I ignore the dog because I have nothing left to give him.

Most days, I don’t even have energy for my husband.

He’s fourth on my list.

No joke.

There’s a list.

With twelve hours away from home daily and at least sixteen hours on the run, prioritization is a necessity my pre-parent self could never have understood.

First comes the baby. He can’t fend for himself at all right now, so I must do it for him. Must.

Second comes the preschooler. He can feed, water and perform bathroom functions all by himself. I try to give him loving attention every day, but some days it’s counted in single digits of minutes because that is all I have left.

If I am awake for more than four minutes after my kids fall asleep, I try taking a moment to breathe. To be. To rejuvenate, since I have no idea when I will next get the chance.

If I manage to get those moments to myself and still have a little energy and wakefulness left over, I spend a few minutes with my husband. I often drift off as he runs his hands through my hair.

Once every week or so, I see my dog and give him a scratch or a pat. Maybe even two. I have nothing more to give him that doesn’t come at a cost to someone else important in my life.

In the rare moments I have a surge of energy and quiet enough to do so, I try calling a sibling or sending a text message.

If I do that and still have something left over, I read a blog or two. This happens almost never right now. I miss reading and commenting, but I can’t right now. I am weary down to my bones.

This is unsustainable, but for right now, it is life.

I give what I can when I can, all the while quietly assessing opportunities for change. I’m not interested in griping just to gripe. That doesn’t fix problems, and fixing problems is what I do.

When I can.

Change is coming soon–in calendar days, not energy days. In energy days, it’s light years away.

In the meantime, I’ll just keep doing what I can when I can with what I have.

It is all I can do.

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  1. July 26, 2014 at 12:57 pm

    Soul sucking exhaustion. I wish I was a stranger to it.
    Hugs.

  2. July 26, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    I hope you’re taking some good vitamins and supplements. If not, you may want to at least try a women’s daily vitamin to give your immune system a boost, and drink tons of water. Things will eventually level out once you find your groove with your new situation of mothering two little ones. 🙂 ❤ Hugs to you! 🙂

  3. July 26, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    When my two kids were those ages, I would throw my weary bones and aching muscles into bed each night. I felt like I was running a marathon each day. It gets better but it does take time!

  4. July 26, 2014 at 3:04 pm

    I couldn’t imagine having two! So I have no words of advice! I’m sure you’ll get through this 🙂

  5. July 26, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    I love your honesty! Before kids our dog was our baby, but now I am lucky if I pet her once a month! There just isn’t enough hours in the day! It will get better right?

  6. July 27, 2014 at 6:44 am

    “…but for right now, it is life.”

    Whether you make other changes or not, the life you have now is temporary. It will change on its own. What you’re going through is normal for a working mother. It’s hard as hell. But it’s normal.

    Much love.

  7. July 27, 2014 at 10:54 am

    Oh Deborah, change is coming soon! I promise. My little guy is 9 months now, crawling, and giving me more breaks than I imagined. I know littler J is only a few months so you’re in the thick of it.

    Just keep telling yourself it’s temporary. It’s NOT a permanent state! Hugs, Anka

  8. July 27, 2014 at 11:27 am

    I do wish I could send you some energy. I wish I could give you extra minutes in the day. I am happy to know though you have a loving and supportive husband who ‘gets it’ and the brains not to feel guilty (at least for soul sucking amounts of time).

    Much love, hugs and strong support. Wish it was more.

  9. July 28, 2014 at 8:45 am

    I feel you. You’re right that it will get better, but when you’re in the thick of it, there is no future tense—there’s only now. Sending you support and internet hugs.

  10. July 28, 2014 at 3:32 pm

    It’s hard. Been there and worn that wrinkled t-shirt that there was no time to iron. Many around you understand. Take care. Hugs.

  1. August 10, 2014 at 8:44 pm

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