Celebrating interdependence. Also dresses.
My last voicemails from my mom were entreaties for me to take “[my] sweet man” and marry him before he found himself someone more docile.
That sweet man, bless him, knew better than to ask me to marry him . . . until, sensing the tides had turned, he did, profferring a Green Lantern ring we’d later replace at his grandma’s request.
It’s been almost a year since he asked.
In that almost-year, we’ve planned almost nothing.
With Independence Day looming, my thoughts pulled toward independence. I’d grown up believing independence meant being totally and completely free: from obligations, from others’ ideas, from others. It was what I yearned for above all else. I resisted people who demanded my attention and cherished those who let me wander, knowing I would be drawn back not by their insistence I come but their openness.
Independence has its charms, truly. More important for me has been learning interdependence, and not only grudgingly accepting that certain people are constants in my life but embracing the way our lives are better for our having chosen to weave them together.
Yesterday, Anthony and I actually began planning. Our plans are few, but they’re a baseline for those we’ll add in the weeks to come. We now know a couple of things about our wedding soon to be.
There’s much more we don’t know, and that’s OK. What we know is we have each other, and will have each other, regardless of when or where we exchange rings, or who is there to witness the exchange.
Also, there will be dresses. This is important.
There are many things I celebrate my independence from–the Chinese food restaurant that gave me my first official job, law school, practicing law, certain hates that used to bog me down–but there are other things from which I do not wish to be independent.
I think you see where I’m going with this.
Life is better not independent from all “things.”
Like dresses. SO MANY PRETTY DRESSES. Can I wear all the dresses? Just change dresses every five minutes my wedding day? On a penny budget?
I guess that might detract from the real focus of my wedding day, so I’ll stick to one. Sigh. I also vow not to steal my bridesmaids’ dresses, no matter how gorgeous they are.
I vow to take the day lightly, because the interdependence I am choosing is better than independence.
I vow today to celebrate not only independence–and especially the independence that has led me to freedoms I cherish today–but also interdependence with the people who illuminate my life.
Oh, and shiny dresses. But mostly interdependence, and the blessed independence to choose these things for myself.
U.S. friends, happy Independence Day!
All, for what dependences and independences are you thankful today?