Home > Family, Love, Personal > My partner, my guide, my light

My partner, my guide, my light

Dear Mr. Almost-my-mister,

Your impersonations crack me up.

It amazes me that you can juggle. And tap dance. At the same time.

Your quiet strength on Survivor impressed me, and reminded me to recognize it in our day to day lives as well.

Even though I watched you do it, I still can’t quite believe you converted a clock to the lamp that now illuminates your corner desk. In an hour.

antlamp
But these things are mere trivia about you. At a much deeper level, I am awed and amazed by you, not because of anything you do but because of who you are. Your goodness shines through in your every smile and gaze, including the exasperated one you offer when I can’t find my laptop, or complain about being stuck in the car.

the look

The love that lights your face when you look at our son sustains me; my all-time favorite sound is your laughter and his intermingled.

You infuriate me sometimes, but that’s only fair in light of how often I am infuriating in your direction. I would say “how often I infuriate you,” but that wouldn’t be right, because you’re so unbelievably patient in the face of my obstinacy. When I think of your patience, fury subsides in favor of gratitude.

When I’m feeling especially grumpy, I remember being seventeen hours into a back labor and finally dissolving into sobs at the prospect of who knew how many more hours ahead. You knelt down in front of me, clasped my hands between yours, and said, “Look into my eyes. Be with me. Breathe.” And I was okay, because I was with you, in all possible ways. The nurses later said they’d never seen a more loving, more present partner, and I believed it.

That’s how I know you in my heart: by your loving guidance in that moment, and in so many moments afterward.

Does this mean I’m going to stop being obstinate? Grumpy? It’s not likely. But I’ll always come back to you.

You. Real you, not individual characteristics I might . . . occasionally . . . grumble about. You. My partner, my guide, my light.

together
Happy almost-birthday, my soon-to-be mister. I love you, and I celebrate each and every day the day that you were born.

Yours, always,
Deefy

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  1. June 22, 2013 at 9:57 am

    This is so sweet, I love it, it resonates for me since my husband and I do butt heads sometimes, but he is extremely patient at other times when i need him to be patient. And, when he isn’t patient, I tend be the patient one in that moment, so we even each other out. That’s so sweet that he was so present and helpful during your labor, that sounds just amazing to me. My mom told me that my father sat and watched golf the entire time! 😉

    • June 22, 2013 at 5:21 pm

      Deb your essay defines love. So happy for all three of you!

  2. June 22, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    Just beautiful, Deborah! The photo of you and your Almost Mister says it all–both beaming with LOVE and JOY. Have wonderful time celebrating your man’s birth! 🙂

  3. June 22, 2013 at 4:27 pm

    This is a spectacular love letter.

  4. June 23, 2013 at 7:11 am

    Awwwwww:) so very sweet! This post just made my day! How are the wedding plans going?

  5. June 23, 2013 at 7:12 am

    LOVE. ❤

  6. June 23, 2013 at 11:21 am

    This made me sit, draw deep and cleansing breath across my heart that is nearly healed but not quite. It reminds me why I fight for love and a marriage I am sometimes close to throwing away. You define the many reasons, love is worth it. Thank you always I find myself thanking you.

    Happy birthday to your almost mister! When is the day? I think I need to send you something

  7. June 24, 2013 at 5:43 am

    He tap dances? That is so cool! Loved the video!

  8. June 24, 2013 at 2:16 pm

    Love love! That picture of you two is adorable!! XOXO-Kasey

  1. June 14, 2014 at 7:50 pm
  2. June 19, 2015 at 9:24 pm
  3. June 23, 2016 at 5:29 pm

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