Home > Family, Humor, Parenting, Work > Traffic: Curing Unfriending Since 2013

Traffic: Curing Unfriending Since 2013

“Omigosh. Your’e not my friend. I’m the boss. You’re not the boss. You’re not the boss anymore because you frustrated me.”
— my son, disavowing me for not giving him his dad’s cookie

Before my son started preschool, I had a 30-minute drive to decompress from my workday before picking him up.

After Li’l D started preschool, I had a 5-minute drive to decompress. I had very little downtime before I was alternately grilled, commanded and shrieked at. I adapted, mostly because I felt like a tool for quietly bemoaning what amounted to more time with my son and less drive time.

Also because preschool means treasures like this

Also because preschool means treasures like this

I recently started a new job. It was hard to make the change, but doing so was an excellent choice. My new job is a challenge and a joy. Perhaps best of all, there’s traffic en route.

Yep, you read that right.

I take two freeways between work and my son’s preschool. After work yesterday, the first freeway’s traffic was light. I didn’t think much of it until I reached the exit onto the second freeway. Seeing the slow-moving traffic there, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then I started chuckling. Was I really grateful for traffic? Yes. Yes, I was. Traffic, baby! Oh, yeah.

Still smiling, I melted into the now, moving away from being mom-Deb, fiancee-Deb or negotiator-Deb and into just being.

By the time I reached Li’l D, I was feeling pretty darn groovy. I was feeling so groovy, it didn’t faze me that I was unfriended by my son roughly 378 times in a 30-minute drive. I wasn’t fussed that I was demoted from boss status, or that my son wasn’t going to talk to me anymore . . . after he finished unfriending me, anyway.

I’d had my drive time. I’d had time to decompress.

All was good, thanks to a little traffic.

Still my favorite traffic

Still my favorite traffic

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  1. June 8, 2013 at 8:27 am

    Driving is actually a great decompression chamber for me, too. But only when it’s moving! You just achieved sainthood by enjoying being stuck in traffic!

  2. June 8, 2013 at 8:28 am

    I, too, value my decompression time, so I know exactly what you mean. I find that being stuck in traffic is one of the only times I can take that moment–when nothing is demanded of me and I can just sit and unwind. Congratulations on the new job, and I’m glad to hear you have traffic built into your new schedule. 🙂

  3. June 8, 2013 at 8:35 am

    I look forward to driving for the same reasons. Decompressing is a great way to describe it. Also, I often feel happiest cranking my fave tunes and just chilling in the car. Even if it’s just for a few minutes, it totally recharges me and puts everything into perspective. Where I’m not just Mom or Wife or Daughter.

  4. June 8, 2013 at 8:54 am

    I too love the time driving home after work just chilling. I even turn off the radio and listen to the silence. It is me time before I get home. Love it and thank you for reminding me why.

  5. June 8, 2013 at 9:08 am

    I really should have kept a jar of quarters or something for how many times I was unfriended by my child. Haha. I wonder if it would have eventually funded a semester of college or two. 😉

  6. June 8, 2013 at 12:17 pm

    This makes sense! I love your treasure, really this you must save and show him when he is all grown up.

  7. June 8, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    Down time is essential isn’t it? I loved that pre-school treasure too. Loud smiles – thank you.

  8. June 8, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    Gotta love that drive time – me time. 🙂

    And I am a little jealous that you get the privilege of the post-poo flush. I made the mistake of flushing for Carter once, and you would have thought I had stolen his favorite toy and eaten his snack for the way he reacted.

  9. June 8, 2013 at 2:33 pm

    I don’t want to freak you out or anything, but you sound a lot like me here. 😉

  10. June 8, 2013 at 5:21 pm

    decompression is so needed! glad you can find it in the drive – good for you.

  11. June 10, 2013 at 5:25 am

    Decompression is always good … and gotta love that note!

  12. June 10, 2013 at 8:26 am

    I love being stuck in traffic, too! I tell my husband that driving home from work seems like a luxury for a stay-at-home mom. Where else can I recharge all alone? My kids always barge in on me in the bathroom!

  13. June 10, 2013 at 3:18 pm

    Always, we mothers feel guilty for needing that decompression time. No more guilt. None. Nada. It’s a necessary part of balanced motherhood in my opinion. Love you, and glad the new job is going well, along with the traffic! (Oh, and the cool thing about being unfriended by our kids is that just as soon as it happens we are friended again, unlike grown-ups!) XOXO-SWM

  14. Marta
    June 11, 2013 at 6:31 am

    Who doesn’t like flushing poppey?

    It’s funny bc I hate traffic but I completely know what you mean about decompress time. I hate when I get to work and everyone suddenly comes into my office. I need those first 15 min to get settled, check my email, make my tea and then I’m ready to go!

  15. June 13, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    I ride an inter-city bus to and from work, and enjoy the quiet work time and nap time I can have before returning home and helping with whatever excitement is going on.

  1. January 18, 2015 at 6:57 am

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