Home > Humor, Parenting > Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

The newest (and tastiest!) approach to parenting

Before I was a parent, I had certain ideas about parenting. “I’ll definitely do this,” I’d tell myself. “And I’ll never, ever do that!”

Then I became a parent.

With so many debates raging about proper parenting, I assumed parenting would be . . . different. You could even say I envisioned it being complicated. Unwieldy.

Turns out it’s a little bit messy, but certainly not hard!


You might have read about the four different parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved.

If you excel at parenting (like me), you undoubtedly read those four types and wondered, “Where’s the fifth?”

The fifth style, “RPBC,” reflects a much more nuanced and sophisticated approach to parenting. It acknowledges that each of the other styles has its merits, but that they all work better in complement to each other. And with a hefty dose of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Why limit yourself to any one of the other styles when you can pick and choose as circumstances necessitate?

RPBC authoritarian: YOU DO NOT GET PEANUT BUTTER CUPS, BECAUSE I SAID SO.

RPBC authoritative: I trust you understand why I’m withholding peanut butter cups from you.

RPBC permissive: Oh, sweetie. It’s okay that you wrecked the neighbor’s car. You know what helps me feel better when I do stuff like that? That’s right. Third drawer on the left.

RPBC uninvolved: [silent as to location of the peanut butter cups]

When my son, Li’l D, has been good, I like to reward his behavior with a peanut butter cup. If he’s been really, really good, I’ll offer him nineteen or twenty.

If the sugar makes him a little wild and he does something displeasing, I tend to take a firm no-peanut-butter-cup stance with him. “Li’l D, I would have given you another peanut butter cup, but Daddy’s going to miss his computer now that you’ve thrown it over the balcony!”

I say “tend to” because the RPBC parenting style affords the busy parent—and aren’t we all busy?—the ultimate in flexibility. There’s no situation that can’t be resolved with the proper application or withholding of peanut butter cups.

You’ll have to sort out the exact balance for yourself, but there’s even more good news here: you can’t get it wrong!

The RPBC never judges. Not even when you eat it.

Try competing with that, other parenting styles!

© 2012 Deborah Bryan. All rights reserved.
Duplication in whole or substantial portion is explicitly forbidden.

*** TODAY’S SPECIAL ***

On this historic day, otherwise known as Wednesday, 19 of your favorite humor bloggers are staging a WordPress coup. We have banded together to address the important topic, Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Yes, you read that right. Your eyes are fine. Well, they may not be fine – I really don’t know. But it does say “19 of your favorite humor bloggers” (or who SHOULD be your favorite bloggers). We are all presenting the same topic, each from his or her particularly unique perspective.

Why this topic? Why now?

Why not?

Click on the Reese’s Pieces link to gobble up the entire, yummy bag of 19 posts.

Bon Appetite!

The Big Sheep Blog ☺ Childhood Relived ☺ Go Guilty Pleasures ☺ Fifty Four and A Half
Fix It Or Deal
 ☺ Play 101  ☺ k8edid ☺ Lenore’s Thoughts Exactly ☺ Life In The Boomer Lane
Peg-o-Leg’s Ramblings
  ☺ Refrigerator Magnate ☺ Running From Hell With El
She’s A Maineiac
 ☺ The Byronic Man ☺ The Good Greatsby ☺ The Monster In Your Closet
The Ramblings
 ☺ Thoughts Appear’s Blog Unlikely Explanations

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Categories: Humor, Parenting
  1. April 11, 2012 at 5:21 am

    Hee Hee Hee I’ll say it again, Deb – satire looks great on you(r blog)!!! I LOVE this.

    • April 11, 2012 at 5:29 am

      What ^she^ said. 😉 Excellent post. Off to read Jules’ post. (I wish I had been paying attention. I would have loved to get in on this! Been preoccupied.)

      • April 11, 2012 at 5:44 am

        Thanks, Chris! This was a secret, stealth plot by Peg-O-Leg to take over WordPress. It’s too early to tell whether the ploy succeeded, but with Peg-O-Leg at the helm it’s hard to imagine anything but success!

    • April 11, 2012 at 5:40 am

      It was so much fun to step outside my serious box! I’m grateful to Peg for the opportunity. And wishing I read quicker/were less distractible, because these posts are a blast! 😀

  2. April 11, 2012 at 5:24 am

    As I said to Darla, y’all are killing me on this day when I am starting a cleanse. I LOVE RPBC!!! And, I wish you were around when my girls were small–they so would have preferred this parenting method. Now…I need to pop over to read what Jules has posted so I can be further tempted.

    • April 11, 2012 at 5:41 am

      D’oh! That is some unfortunate timing!

      I should get started on a book next, eh? There’s only so much peanut butter that can be covered in one blog!

  3. April 11, 2012 at 5:31 am

    “If he’s been really, really good, I’ll offer him nineteen or twenty.”—Please be my Mommy.

    • April 11, 2012 at 5:45 am

      I’ll be over right after I’ve finished my freezerful of RPBC! (There might or might not be restockings involved.)

  4. April 11, 2012 at 5:38 am

    Why did I let Elyse send me to RPBC overload? 😉

    • April 11, 2012 at 5:47 am

      Bwahaha! I’ve been reading through the posts (very, very slowly) wondering how on earth I didn’t think to actually have RPBC on hand this morning. I’m laughing on the outside, but inside, all is turned to RPBC need. Mmmmmm!

    • April 11, 2012 at 5:45 pm

      Hey, why are you blaming me????? You are an adult. You can eat or NOT eat a Reese’s. Just because my family members call me Reese does not excuse your laying the blame at my feet, Frank.

      • April 13, 2012 at 5:19 am

        Well …the first domino was the likely choice to pick on. So … I will also give you props because if it wasn’t for your initial domino, I wouldn’t have tried ice cream between two RPBCs!

        • April 13, 2012 at 6:43 am

          I would never recommend anyone actually eat a Reese’s — I hate them!

          • April 13, 2012 at 6:45 am

            … and we all have stuff we hate to eat! Sorry to hear you won’t be able to enjoy the aforementioned ice cream treat.

  5. April 11, 2012 at 5:42 am

    Great parenting! If I don’t get a RPBC soon I am going to eat everything in the house.

    • April 11, 2012 at 5:48 am

      That is exactly how I feel right now! If I had more than twelve minutes until Li’l D’s rousing time, I’d haul myself to a store and grab a stack right now. Never have I craved RPBCs so very, very much!

  6. April 11, 2012 at 5:44 am

    Hahahahahaha! Excellent job, Deb! “Third drawer on the left.” Cracks me up. Good stuff. Great stuff. Excellent.

    • April 11, 2012 at 5:49 am

      Thanks, Lenore! 😀 I’m going through the posts in order right now, but I’ll doubtfully be able to hit all 19 before the day really starts. Sniffle.

  7. April 11, 2012 at 6:07 am

    I also loved ‘third drawer on the left’! Loved this, Deb.

    I don’t know how much more I can take all of these posts. I am down to just a couple more to read and then I am gone, baby. Gone to bust open my secret stash of dark chocolate pb cups leftover from Easter (shhh!)

    • April 13, 2012 at 5:21 am

      Secret stashes FTW!

      It’s been so busy, I haven’t been able to read a single post or reply to a single comment since I read this one, but the memory of my RPBC lust as I read the first 9-10 posts will stay with me for a long, long while. I didn’t end up having any on Wednesday, but I made up for that yesterday. 0:)

  8. April 11, 2012 at 6:15 am

    Hahaha… RPBC uninvolved might be the least effective method for me.
    You know… because of the clawed off hardware and noticably gnawed upon corners of my third drawer on the left. And since I don’t have kids… I… might be personally responsible for the break-in damage. Possibly. Might.
    🙂

  9. April 11, 2012 at 6:17 am

    Wow. What a sophisticated and nuanced approach to parenting. Wish I’d thought of this when my kids were coming up. I ended up going with ass-whuppin and screamed insults with them but, in retrospect, sophisticated and nuanced might have been better.

    THird drawer on the left – tee hee! Trying to make my way through all the goodness today.

    We did it – all 19 delivered. Whoo hoo hoo!

    • April 13, 2012 at 5:32 am

      What a sophisticated and nuanced approach to parenting. Wish I’d thought of this when my kids were coming up.
      Not everyone can have a black belt in parenting!

      *cough*

      I can’t even type that with a straight face. (Same goes for reading your comment.)

      I only made it through the first half before things got crazy, a fact still unremedied. But I’m looking forward to playing catch-up over the weekend. Best of all about that is how I’ll be able to catch up with RPBCs at hand. Not having them at hand on Wednesday morning was making all that reading hard!

  10. bigsheepcommunications
    April 11, 2012 at 6:27 am

    Move the bleep over, Dr. Spock!

    • April 13, 2012 at 5:32 am

      I hope he’s heard your message and responded accordingly!

      • bigsheepcommunications
        April 13, 2012 at 5:42 am

        I’m pretty sure Dr. Spock is long gone (he was ancient when I was a kid), but his books are still around.

  11. Running from Hell with El
    April 11, 2012 at 6:32 am

    Brilliant!!! Aw Deb, you made me laugh out loud this morning–and oh my gosh, you excel at satire!! Here’s hoping all of your fine readers understand the concept behind, for example, Gulliver’s Travels. xo.

  12. April 11, 2012 at 6:55 am

    Wow — you are definitely on to something here. RPBC parenting? I can’t say it five times fast, but I’m already adopting it in my mind. It’s a perfect blend of the other four, just makes sense, like peanut butter and chocolate. 🙂 I laughed out loud at, “I would have given you another peanut butter cup, but…”

    • April 13, 2012 at 5:41 am

      I only feel bad I didn’t think to share the word with the world until Peg contacted me! Maybe her inspiration was heaven-sent? 😉

  13. April 11, 2012 at 6:56 am

    RPBC day…this is awesome! As I inhale my first RPBC mini of the day, I’m reminding myself that peanut butter is one of the healthiest protiens, and that certain types of chocolate have multiple health benefits. Therefore I’m convinced RPBC’s are the healthiest snack out there and that you are one fine parent for recognizing this!

    • April 13, 2012 at 5:42 am

      Peanut butter IS an excellent source of protein! Just to stay on the safe side, you should throw in a few bites of banana, too. It’s my thinking that anything is healthy (or extra-healthy, in this case) with a little banana! :p

  14. April 11, 2012 at 7:15 am

    hysterical. TOOO DAMN FUNNY DEB. Cheering and yelling and laughing.

  15. April 11, 2012 at 7:16 am

    I always thought RPBC brought happiness. When my little one is older I’ll have to try your parenting method. 😉

    • April 13, 2012 at 5:44 am

      You have thought right! In addition to happiness, they bring perfect parenting. What’s not to love?

      0:)

  16. April 11, 2012 at 8:07 am

    I think you could market this parenting style and start a parenting education tour filled with RSPC drones. I’m in. Thanks for a great morning laugh.

    • April 13, 2012 at 5:46 am

      I giggled as I read this, trying to envision that book/parenting style marketing plan. I might just make it a stress-relieving project to map this out! 😉

  17. Amy
    April 11, 2012 at 8:38 am

    I could already tell that you’re raising that kid right by the Ramones t-shirt he’s wearing. The RPBCs are just reinforcing your awesomeness!

    • April 13, 2012 at 5:47 am

      One of our friends lamented around Li’l D’s first birthday that she wished she were dressed half as cool as Li’l D. We had a blast finding rocker gear for him!

      Now I need to dress half as cool. Heck, I’d even take one-quarter!

  18. April 11, 2012 at 10:09 am

    This post is seriously clever. My parenting style was determined mostly by whether anybody was watching.

  19. April 11, 2012 at 11:07 am

    RPBC should include parenting tips in the wrapper – like the jokes that come with Bazooka Joe!

    • April 13, 2012 at 5:51 am

      You’re so right! Do you want to approach them with this plan, or shall I? (I don’t want anyone to think I’m stealing your fabulous idea! ;))

      Rule #317: Kids don’t need love. They need peanut butter cups.

  20. April 11, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    Love it! Parenting is nothing like we thought it would be. I used M&Ms. : )

    • April 13, 2012 at 5:52 am

      Parenting is nothing like we thought it would be.
      I remember one of my mom’s friends telling me, in response to a parenting suggestion from my 13-year-old self, “I knew a lot more about parenting before I was a parent. You’ll understand this day.”

      Was she ever right!

  21. April 11, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    I don’t really see the humour in this .. isn’t there a parenting book somewhere that says all of this and more? No? Well, there should be.

    Oh, and extra points to Li’l D for the Ramones shirt. 🙂

    • April 13, 2012 at 5:53 am

      If there isn’t one, that might just be my next project! 😉

      • April 15, 2012 at 5:00 am

        By the way, my basket from the mythical bunny contained 3 double packs of Reese eggs, 1 large pack of Reese’s sticks, 1 package of Reese mini cups as well as a handful of mini foil-wrapped eggs. That rabbit knows his/her stuff! 😀

      • April 15, 2012 at 6:56 am

        Hee. Can we swap bunnies? Mine just got me one small pack of RPBCs.

  22. April 11, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    I’d like you to be my mommy, as well. My boys liked Twizzlers, which is just as good, I didn’t care for them so they were always on hand. If it had been peanut butter cups, however, they would have been on their own.

    • April 13, 2012 at 5:55 am

      I didn’t like chocolate growing up, if you can believe it! I made an exception for peanut butter cups, but that was because of the magical combination of ingredients. When I’d done something well and earned a treat, my mom would actually buy me black licorice. It was her way of ensuring none of my siblings (who did not like the stuff) would confiscate my treat. Now I wonder if she had like treats for each of them!

  23. April 11, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    You know, I should have used this parenting style, too. Then, perhaps, my son would not be a psychotic mass murderer. I say this entirely in jest and with a great deal of hope in my heart.

    Great Post. I hadn’t seen your blog before and now I’m following. But if I get fat because of it I will be really irritated. 🙂

    • April 13, 2012 at 5:56 am

      You have my assurance that RPBCs will not feature here frequently! Nor especially tasty food for, though I love it, I do not often have it. I make it even less often, although it’s not for lack of trying! 😉

  24. April 11, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    Will you adopt me?

    And then after you adopt me, will you teach me everything you know? My kids are throwing carrot sticks at the cat and I don’t know how to get them to eat human food.

    P.S. I like what you did with our link thingies. Much prettier.

    • April 13, 2012 at 5:59 am

      “Yes” to teaching you everything I know–prepare for a thorough, arduous 14-second course! I’ll have to think on the adoption question.

      As for the links format, I thought of emailing and saying, “This is how I’m doing it if anyone else wants to copy-and-paste it!” Then I decided I should probably not draw attention to my “meticulous” (that’s my BIL’s friendly euphemism for it) ways.

  25. April 11, 2012 at 8:15 pm

    I’m still laughing–and I really think humor is very important in parenting! Actually, I think you might have the next best theory on parenting–really. Only issue, if allergic to peanuts (I am, not my children), what is the best substitute? How about jelly beans?

    • April 14, 2012 at 8:10 pm

      I think humor is important as well! I think it was my mom’s sense of humor that made things seem so bearable to me growing up. 🙂

      My personal recommendation for a substitute would be black licorice, but jelly beans offer a lot more flavors for those black licorice averse. (I can’t believe these people exist, personally! Ahem.)

  26. April 12, 2012 at 12:30 am

    You forgot to add that in an emergency, when there are no Peanut Butter Cups around, “choc choc” comes a close second.

    • April 14, 2012 at 8:14 pm

      I’m ashamed to say this, but i actually googled “choc choc” to see if it was a kind of candy. Sounds like double chocolate . . . anything? Maybe? (Help?)

  27. April 12, 2012 at 1:36 am

    RPBC uninvolved seems really cruel.

  28. April 12, 2012 at 5:01 am

    Wish I were a humor blogger. I love Reese’s. Great take on the topic, Deb!
    Hugs,
    Kathy

  29. April 12, 2012 at 5:18 am

    My bowl floweth over, with RPBC. 🙂

  30. April 12, 2012 at 9:11 am

    Reading this post: a great way to start my day! Love, love, love! 🙂

  31. April 12, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    Yummy…I just gave the minis RPBC for dinner…is that not appropriate? I thought chocolate and PB were food groups? 🙂 So fun…

    • April 14, 2012 at 8:18 pm

      Not appropriate? I call that the perfect dinner!

      If they’re not food groups, they ought be. I hope the government is taking note of these words from a future expert right now! :p

  32. April 16, 2012 at 12:02 am

    I want to make a correction: There is nothing bad about a tiny person in a Ramones t-shirt. Don’t think of it as bad, think of it as just pre-RPBC.

    Also, now I want a peanut butter cup. Damn you.

  1. November 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm

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