Nearly twenty years ago, I awakened screaming in pain in the middle of the night.
I was the stoic one. Bust my head doing flips off the bed? Greet it with a grimace. Fall from a stand off my moving bike? Greet it with a grimace. What good would crying do me anyway?
It was my customary stoicism that made my mom anxious. It made her so anxious, in fact, that she decided to take me to the hospital. She did this despite the fact her deadbeat ex-husband as seldom paid child support as medical bills.
A trip to the emergency room? That would put her out months of garage sale money, which was frequently all the money she had to get by.
During uninsured periods, my mom grappled with the same horrific decision every time one of her children got sick: a trip to the hospital and even worse financial instability than she already faced daily (including potential loss of home) or riding it out at home and risking—if worse came to worst—the loss of a child.
Of course, it’s not only a child’s own health care that determines her personal well being. Read more…
After two more rounds of copy editing, one of which was (pleasingly!) a little more content than copy, TMD’s first edition will soon be replaced by a more sparkly second edition. FYI, that’s not Edward-style “sparkly.” You’ll find none of that in any edition of any book involving Ginny!
The second edition will be printed on cream paper. Digitally, it’s already formatted for Smashwords and was uploaded this morning. It was roughly 1,458,892,058th in queue for uploading at 6 a.m. I imagine a few digits have been knocked off of that since! I’ll update my TMD page to include that link after it’s available. A few weeks after that, it’ll be available on the iStore and elsewhere.
On a totally unrelated note, I feel really good this morning. Up until I paid off my car last Monday, I’ve been prone to vegan fails. (Mmmm, cheese.) Those vegan fails left my mouth satisfied but my conscience very much dissatisfied.
When I paid off my car, I decided that was a perfect opportunity to live in better accord with my convictions. That payoff, after all, was made possible by my mom’s final gift to me. Her life was rough. Her choices made me able to take a much smoother path. Given all the choices I have, I feel like it’s important to honor my mom by making–not just contemplating–the right choices for me. This means eating vegan unless there’s an absolutely compelling reason (such as imminent death) for my doing otherwise.
It feels really freakin’ good. My body feels good. My heart feels good. This was the right choice, absolutely, and I’m glad I now have the conviction to see it through.
I’m not preaching veganism here, although it’s true I do feel healthier when I’m eating vegan. I’m just saying it feels really good to live in accord with my beliefs. Who’d have thought instant gratification could be so fleeting by comparison to this more lasting gratification? Since I tend to be slow on the uptake, I’m guessing you beat me to the punch on this one, probably by a decade or two.
Was there a moment or an encounter that helped you to understand that instant gratification is as fleeting as it is instantaneous? If so, I’d love to hear about it! If you’re still struggling, I’d love to hear about that, too, either in comment or via email.