I’m not ignoring you.
I probably haven’t left comments on your blog recently.
Or replied to your last email, or seven.
Or tweeted you.
This doesn’t mean I’m not thinking of you, or wondering what you’re up to. It just means my only internet is phone-based at the moment. If I’m posting online, it’s because I have something I really, really want to say before I forget. Or, like now, because it’s 4:30 a.m. and I’ve already streamed my quota of The Mindy Project on Hulu.
I’ve missed being online, a little, but I’ve savored it, too. Instead of constantly wondering what I am missing online, I have been immersed in savoring the offline. Instead of arising and running straight to the computer, I’ve laid in bed and listened to the trio of snores filling the air around me.
I’ve washed the dishes, made my rice, read my daily chapter of Just One Thing, and sat on the living room floor savoring a sense of home greater than the one I felt at my last place. There, two friends anxiously began a journey of seeing if they could build a family from friendship. So much was uncertain then, and is certain now.
I feel that certainty in the DVDs and books mingled on our shelves. In the rug all three of us chose together on a shopping trip for a desk. In the things that aren’t in their places yet, but that I already feel because we’ve discussed where they’ll be. In the snores that fill the air of this apartment. Our home.
I’m not ignoring you. Promise. I’m just busy right now savoring the good in being right here, in body and spirit.
I’ll be commenting and emailing and tweeting you soon, but for right now, I am listening. I am listening, and discovering that my life is fuller of sweet, quiet melodies than I ever could have understood from the din of constant motion.
So for now, I am listening. I am hearing.
I am full.