Don’t look at me in that tone of voice!
I wasn’t setting any personal records for kindness or gentleness yesterday evening. Sure, I wrote a sweet poem for my son, but most of my evening looked like this:
I was breathing enough fire I could’ve kept a whole house warm through a winter. In Siberia. Ba.D., my S.O, was otherwise occupied but noticed something was up. (The rapidly increasing temperature in the living room probably clued him in.)
He set down what he was doing and asked, “What’s wrong, Deb?”
I replied more speedily than truthfully. “Nothing.”
He asked only a couple more questions, the latter of which was, “Does Facebook relax you?”
. . .
Removed from the computer a few minutes later, I was able to see the chasm between what I intend for my Facebook use and what I actually do. Remember my friend Accountability Girl? She’s here to demonstrate the discrepancy:
INTENDED
ACTUAL
Freed from compulsive Facebook checking, I got my to-do list in order and even checked off a few tasks last night. In no time!
I curled up with a most incredible book, The Looking Glass Wars, and fell asleep without so much as a hint of either fire or smoke emanating from anywhere on or around my person.
Today was like that, too.
Reclaiming both mental space and the joy of quiet time is a gift I wish I’d given myself sooner, without having first wreaked burnination upon those who happened to be in my line of sight. Yet even that’s an important reminder of the merit of silence; within the silence, there’s room for me to see and respond to signs overload is coming before it’s actually gnawing at the parts of my brain that control things like “sense” and “friendliness.”
It also leaves more room for me to do things like watch this awesome video about Obama’s YA novel plan for the American economy. And make stick figure drawings, because let’s face it. A world without stick figure drawings is a little too three-dimensional for anyone’s good!
© 2012 Deborah Bryan. All rights reserved.
Duplication in whole or substantial portion is explicitly forbidden.
I am happy that you are not burning up in your sleep.
And those are some kicka$$ stick-figures.
love you.
It is amazing to me how much joy I get from making my stick figure drawings. I guess it’s like how I used to love painting postcards when I was in Japan. The joy was definitely in the process, not the end result.
Much love!
Roolly, roolly excellent stick figures. Of which there should be more.
I hope the calmer you continues. For your sake.
Thank you on both counts! It’s a sign of my overload that I was too busy making sure I was caught up on social media that I stopped doing things that I love. Like making stick figure drawings!
(How one could ever be “caught up” on social media is beyond me, but that’s the feeling that’s spurred me on for months now. Gah!)
Sometimes you just need to step away and relax! I love the stick drawings
It’s still incredible to me how the very act of deactivating my account had me feeling so light I could just float away. The stick figure drawings just amplified that feeling. :p
burnination!! Magnificent word. Glad you gave yourself the gift of mental space and quiet. We all need that.
“Burnination” is a word borrowed from my friend Trogdor. He kept me very good company in law school, so that I like to remember him now and then still.
And this gift? Better than any found at any store!
Itis weird how we get all plugged in to so much social media that we can get overwhelmed and forget we DID survive without it. And no one is leaving you.
This is why we worry about our children being too plugged in, remember?
And no one is leaving you.
You totally nailed this one! “If I’m not constantly in the loop about my page friends and apprising them of my goings-on, they’ll think I don’t like them and they’ll all disappear!” Not so much, as it happens. Not so much. (And I have all this other time for editing, stick figure drawings, reading and cooking!)
Your parting comment is absolutely perfect. That’s what I’m going to ask myself when I do reactivate: “What kinds of limits am I going to want on Li’l D’s use?” Seeing as I allow him one episode of Dora a day for like reasons, I should probably have made this connection a little sooner. I’m glad you made it for me. ♥
I agree with Kate. burnination is such a magnificent word for this. Good for you that you rewarded yourself with some good ole quiet time.
It’s a borrowed word, but one I (for obvious reasons!) love madly. Mwa!
It feels so good to have given myself this. Now that I know how good it feels, I’d like to hold on to it.
Brilliant. You’re so awesome Deb! I love stick characters by the way. Thanks for keeping my dream alive.
Thanks, Valerie! You know what else is awesome? YOU.
I keep meaning to write a history of my stick figure drawings. (It effectively started here.) I should make that one of my next blog posts. :p
Ah, Deb, I know just how you feel!! Since my own hiatus from facebook to re-prioritize my self, I do much better with it. I’m able to stay away from the page for a few days, simply posting one or two things, and go about living my life without stress that “they will go away” or “they need more”. And, Bonus!!, the guilt about that isn’t even sticking around anymore!
Be well, my friend! I am so glad you are taking time for you and your wants/needs. And, of course, the best stick figure drawings ever! <3
I thought about re-activating my account last night, but I think it’s still way too early. I could imagine myself easily falling back into the old cycle. The quiet of this, the time and space I’m allowing myself to think, are too fabulous to part with just yet. I will be online just long enough to share MNFD’s FTIAT entry in a little while, but then it’s back offline for me. I look forward to getting to where you’re at now!
No doubt Deb, Facebook can and does get out of hand. I feel that’s it’s safe to say that we all have our share of stress and drama, but I’m not so sure why so much of it has to be shared on FB.
I find myself pulling away from it more and more; usually on those days, I feel so much better about what I get done. There are some folks that share some very enlightening articles and that’s what I usually search for, during my time on FB.
By the way, I love your stick figure graphics, and the caption for Ba.D’s photo is HILARIOUS!!! I KNOW that my husband would appreciate your humor!
I find myself pulling away from it more and more; usually on those days, I feel so much better about what I get done.
Yes! I’ve felt so good the last few days. I’ve got so much more space and quiet internally. Where my to-do list felt unending before, I’ve made a huge dent in it the last few days by just focusing, which has come so easily.
Thanks re: the graphics! It’s so cathartic to make the stick figure images, and that Ba.D. one? It’s a perfect example of the look Ba.D. gets on his face when he doesn’t buy what I’m saying for a single second. :p
Your stick figures make my soul smile.
Maybe you can explain to me, do you keep a separate FB page for Deb the writer, as opposed to Deb the individual? What do you see as the benefit? I’m such a social media newbie, but wonder if I need to step outside my WP comfort zone.
Thank you!
I do keep separate FB pages. In my case, because I didn’t have enough sense to start a public page that actually had my name in it, I’ve actually got three: my personal one, my author one, and my closet monster one. I’m taking steps to make the latter a little more authorial, but it’ll never be quite like the actual author one.
Most of the book sales I’ve made have been the result (directly or indirectly) of my posting a quote from Julie saying why she loved The Monster’s Daughter. Actually pointing out that I’d written a book made a huge difference in peoples’ actually being aware of its existence. On a blog level, though, folks on the FB pages love sharing. Many of my recent blog followers have come from page shares by other page admins. The difference is pretty astonishing, actually. In the few days I’ve been off FB, my hits are about one-third what they are while I’m on it, and comments on the page itself much diminished. Sharing other peoples’ pages is also a huge joy, and the fact that these pages are taggable leads to much easier sharing. I’ve actually been trying to get my BFF to start a page so I can share her blog entries and tag her so other people can more easily follow her themselves. (So far, no go, regrettably!)
I’ve shared a few of your blogs on FB, actually, and I always, always wish I could tag you to send more people your way!
It seems like now is a time of disconnecting and re-energizing for a few folks. My ex-wife just shared a helluva life change with me, and I’m glad she did. She seems confident in her decision, and happier.
What a great question for Ba.D. to ask! I’m feeling a bit like you, Deb. I need to disconnect from the distraction and frustration sometimes. I already “grounded” myself from XBox and Angry Birds this week. Even if I don’t get measurably more work done right away, I’ll get more rest, which will eventually lead to increased success.
Take the time you need. Facebook will be there when you come back. Facebook is always there… *Muhuhuhahahahh!*
I’m always amazed by how I build up these seemingly complicated messes in my brain, only to have Ba.D. ask one or two questions that make me go, “Whoa. That wasn’t really that complicated at all, was it?” (The question he’d asked just prior had unearthed a verbal avalanche of everything that was stressing me out.)
Even if I don’t get measurably more work done right away, I’ll get more rest, which will eventually lead to increased success.
I know it’s only been 3.5 days since I activated, but this is spot on! Last night, I actually felt wiped out super early. Instead of filling the time, I climbed into bed with a book and drifted off early. I awakened refreshed and rejuvenated.
Your parting paragraph makes me laugh. And, oh, how true it is!
I, too, love “burnination.” Just hope you didn’t catch that bad mood from me. I’ve been in the land of burnination recently myself.
Hugs,
Kathy
Wherever we’ve caught it from, I hope it departs speedily! It’s already mostly gone in my case, but I think/hope/suspect a few more days (plus a visit from one of my sisters!) will do the trick. I’m sending much love and well wishes from here. I hope you’re taking a little time out for yourself. ♥
Brilliant post and pictures. So relatable. I wrote a post recently about Facebook. I have to use four accounts for work, blogging and my own personal space. It can all get a bit much at times and feel like you’re spending so much time living online you’re missing out on “real” life offline. A week without the internet on a recent holiday to Cuba was incredible. Yes, I missed it towards the end. But the silence was pure magic. And when I came back? I was “up to speed” within a matter of minutes. Days off are good.
Four? Gah! I manage three, none having to do with my job, and that’s enough!
It can all get a bit much at times and feel like you’re spending so much time living online you’re missing out on “real” life offline.
So perfectly put. The last few days have been an excellent chance for me to live offline and hopefully set myself up to return to Facebook with awareness to how much time I spend online and what I’m hoping to accomplish while there. I’ve used it to “fill time” a lot, or as a “pleasant distraction,” but that’s mostly filled me with a sense that time is moving much faster than it really is. I’m enjoying the slow pace right now and want to be able to emulate it upon my return.
I’d love a week in Cuba right about now! Actually, anytime.
I took a break today. It was nice. Look at us. You are my lighthouse.
Yeah! These words are a light to my heart. ♥
Good for you… I’m aiming for that myself. I need to get back to reading and resting again.
I hope you do! My reading time is my surefire calm time on a daily basis. I’m actually a few minutes away from shutting down my laptop and reading a little. YES!
yes I have fire breathing moments with my kids too sometimes! great post
Thanks, Jennie! I’ve had a few of those with my guys, too, and that feels even worse! It’s part of the human experience when it’s a rarety, methinks!
Nailed it! And, I needed a good stick figure representation of how FB has been playing out in my world lately. Funny how that one can get turned around from “pleasure” to burden. Hmmm, I’ve got some soul searching to do….
I still can’t quite believe how much therapy these stick figures afford me! I think it’s because it gives me an opportunity to boil down something that feels so complex I couldn’t possibly figure it out . . . into an image or two that makes me go, “Oh, wait,” right before chuckling at myself. I’m glad they hit the (a? hmm!) spot for you, too. Big hugs as we both try to figure it out. ♥