Gay love. Or, as I like to call it, love.
Please note the love on my car, not the dirt
I knew Stupendous long before I knew Terrific.
“Stu” and I? We took martial arts together a dozen years ago. “Terri,” on the other hand, came into my life five years ago. Just barely.
The evening we met concluded such a miserable day of work-related travel, I very nearly turned my rental car back toward my hotel and skipped our planned meeting. As I drove darkened rural roads on the outskirts of Cupertino, I cursed and swore but ultimately believed Stu’s assurances I was almost there. I really would find them, if I stayed the course.
I did find them. And though I could not see it then, finding them in person was an intrinsic piece of my finding my way to the beautiful, blessed life I live now.
When I moved to Los Angeles a year and a half after our Cupertino get-together, Stu and Terri had already beaten me to the Land-o’-Angels punch by several months. We started hanging out, casual friends with sporadically overlapping histories.
Somehow, somewhere, our casual friendship transformed itself into something else. There wasn’t a magical moment of transmogrification; rather, layer by imperceptible layer, we’d built from single-noodle buddydom to an entire 80-layer lasagna of chosen family.
Help moving into my new apartment? Check. Lobster dinner on Tupperware tubs? Check.
When a little boy’s body was discovered in a Dumpster behind my house, it was Stu and Terri who coaxed me to stay with them, where I would feel safe and loved, and not just distraught.
Later still, when I found out my “second mom” had leukemia, Stu and Terri respected my wishes to spend a weekend in silent contemplation–after they drove an hour to deliver a weekend’s worth of groceries, Dr. Pepper, hugs and words of love.
The two met my terror at learning I was pregnant with loving encouragement, despite my terror-related grumpiness. On their way back from San Diego, where they’d been when they received my frantic phone call, they stopped by my apartment with groceries and a sweet quote about motherhood being about building love from chaos. They told me they had total faith in me, come what may, and that they would do anything in their power to ease my path ahead.
The days since have been overflowing with examples of their doing just that. So abundant are these examples, a testament to Stu and Terri’s powerful love, that there was no question I’d ask them to be my son’s godmothers.
Yes, his godmothers. Two women who love each other–and Li’l D–very much.
This is as right and natural to me as is my sister and her husband being together. It’s so right, I hardly ever think about it. When I do think about it, it’s because I’ve seen words like “perversity,” “sin,” and “immorality” coupled with words like “gay” or “queer.”
After my shock at these bizarre word combinations subsides, I wonder, “Where the heck does this even come from? Do I live in the same world as the folks who wrote this stuff?”
If you saw Stu or Terri love on my little one like he’s their own–which, in very real, very enduring ways, he is–words like “sin” and “perversity” would be the last words on your mind. In fact, if you’re like me, you’d find you have no room in your head for words at all. You’d be way too busy marveling at the goodness of being part of, and bearing witness to, that love. Too busy remembering being lost five years ago on a road outside Cupertino, and being, without even knowing it at the time, on the verge of truly being found.
If I die too early to see my little man become a full-grown man, Stu and Terri’s stupendous, terrific love is wonderfully, precisely, perfectly everything I want my son to know I felt for him, too.
That’s love, baby. Not orange love. Not zombie love. Not gay love.
Love.
This post's inspiration, as found on the Straight People for Gay Marriage Facebook page
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(c) 2011 Deborah Bryan. All rights reserved.
Duplication in whole or substantial portion is explicitly forbidden.
Beautiful. I’m finding that I’m so comfortable in my faith in humanity to find equilibrium in loving each other equally, I take for granted the details of why I feel that way. Your story illuminates some of the details. I thank you for the reminder that love is love.
“I take for granted the details of why I feel that way.”
Exactly! As I explained to “Stu” when I emailed her, something had been brewing in the back of my mind since I saw that poster on FB. Once the brewing starts, it’s just a question of when I’ll be writing it out. Writing it out helps me see flaws in how I’ve been looking at something, and pinpoint exactly why I feel that way.
Writing things like this–or, well, most things I write–reminds me of something my “cleavage shot’ friend used to do when I said I wasn’t a writer: laugh. He’d laugh and laugh and laugh and then suggest I maybe needed to rework my criteria.
I thought about that at services earlier. When internal storms get a-brewin’, writing helps me tame them.
I’m glad that taming process boiled down here is something that was meaningful for others.
Love between two people is an amazing thing.It shouldn’t matter that the two people in love are of the same gender….but unfortunately in some places, and in some peoples minds it does.
Its only 16 years since being Gay in Ireland stopped being a crime, and things have moved on now with Civil Marriages being allowed, recently two friends got married, though their choice of venues had to be changed since the first venue they wanted didn’t ‘allow’ two people of the same sex to marry there.
Its amazing in this day and age that two people can still be discriminated against just because they are gay and its WRONG!
As long as the two people are two consenting adults, what’s important to me is love. The other stuff? Neither important, nor any of my business–as Ba.D.’s godmother and I chatted about at Yom Kippur services earlier! (I love how that all worked out.)
It stunned me to read that it’s “only 16 years since being Gay in Ireland stopped being a crime.” Sometimes my perceptions of how things are in the world are so out of sync with how they actually are. I’m glad to have my eyes opened, although I’d like to not have a need to have them opened in this way.
I agree it’s wrong. And when I sit and think about it, I can’t help but think Renee below is right: I wish everyone knew people like my Mary and Maggie or your Stu & Terri; I don’t think anyone would dare begrudge them a marriage certificate.
I think it’s these examples that need to be brought to light so people can compare their perceptions of “those people” based on caricature with “those people,” as they actually are and live. Knowledge is such a powerful antidote to hate.
Great post. I agree, love is love irregardless of who are involve. I don’t want to judge like some people do. I don’t want to be judge myself. People have the right to be happy, to express how they feel. As long as they don’t do harm and are productive to the society, I believe everyone is entitled for love and be loved. Wishing you weekend of happiness…
Thank you! I love your comment. I, too, question how it’s my place to judge, knowing how much I’ve done and continue to do (despite concerted effort) that’s wrong and/or hurtful.
A few months ago, I saw a “What Would You Do?” clip on gay parents in a Texas diner. I was so, so touched by a couple of the people who intervened–not with hate, but with pleas of, “Don’t judge.” What one of the guys did to send his message of love had me in tears of joy. That guy’s been on my mind a lot since.
I hope your weekend is happy, too. As always, my day was brighter after reading your thoughtful words!
A terrific and stupendous post. I wish I could say it half as well. Well done, Deb!
I love this, Deb. Mark, our Idiot friend, posted this on my FB page the other day, or did he mail it? I forget. At any rate, I read it outloud to my partner Sara. Thanks for this fabulous post!
Kathy
Thank you, Kathy! I was talking about the poster with Ba.D.’s godmom at services today. She mentioned some of the comments that were exchanged on someone else’s Facebook share of the poster.
One person said, “That’s funny!” This led another to ask, “Why is this funny? It’s true.” I love how it reorients the question, and how it opened me to looking at the question in a totally different light . . . and to revisit all these wonderful moments with Li’l D’s own godparents, the mere thought of whom causes me to get something in both my eyes. A lot.
You amaze me with your ability to so clearly, passionately, and tenderly portray your friends, your beliefs, and your humanity.
I have known same gender couples who are far more loving, far more committed, and far more stable than a great many of my heterosexual family and friend pairings could ever hope to be. Love is love, and it is good.
I can’t really think of a way to say “thank you” enough for the first paragraph. Reading it, it feels impossible that such words could be–and were–applied to things I have shared. I’m touched to see the word “tender” especially; that’s the feeling that’s foremost on my heart when I consider my loved ones, as at this moment.
Your comment is beautiful, but one part in particular strikes me:
Love is love, and it is good.
Amen. As are these beautiful words. ♥
It always amazes me that people can find so much room inside them for hate. Thank you for writing this post. It was beautiful not least of all because it’s so true.
It amazes me, too. The room that’s given to hate in one heart doesn’t stay there, either; it reflects itself in in little and large ways and seeps into other aspects of life, and other peoples’ lives. That room is room lost to make one’s own heart and the world brighter. Sometimes when I get grumpy or angry, I think of it in these terms–am I stepping toward making the world better by this? If not, I try to let it go. After speaking up, as applicable.
Thank you. ♥
That poster rocks!!!
Doesn’t it?! I love it when so much is said so (a) awesomely with (b) few words. Same principle behind my stick figure drawings: sometimes, lotsa words is great. Sometimes, boiling a thing down to its essence is the best way to make it comprehensible.
Oh, geez. Speaking of “few words,” I totally fail at that, eh?
A beautiful story — Thanks for sharing it! I am extraordinarily thankful for all of my friends — gay and straight — who incarnate love and are on my kids’ teams. Growing up is a lot of work in this crazy world, and my children need spotters who will never fail them and who will show them something about commitment, joy, and hope. Thanks.
Growing up is a lot of work in this crazy world, and my children need spotters who will never fail them and who will show them something about commitment, joy, and hope.
So beautifully put! Like you, I will take that love, and those extra hands for spotting, with thanks in my heart.
I’ve never “gotten” the hatred shown towards homosexuals – men AND women. I’ve seen “queer” relationships FAR outlast many “straight” ones. I’ve had “queer” friends of both genders, far more reliable than some “straight” ones.
) when their apartment landlord doubled everybody’s rent overnight. Homosexual couples are ubiquitous throughout sci-fi fandom.
It was a gay guy who, after hitting on me and getting a polite “thanks, but no, thanks”, introduced me to my wife-to-be. We had a gay couple live with us (in a conservative Chicago suburb – talk about raised eyebrows!
So what? My point exactly – so what. They’re couples. Period.
Amen to everything you said! “So what?” What’s it impact? What’s it change? Nada.
I feel so sad for the love that’s lost by everyone when preconceived ideas bar the seeing of what really is, and experiencing all the goodness therein.
Well, love is love, no matter what.
P.s. When I wrote it I realised it can’t be true completely, because it couldn’t apply to everything (take pedofiles, for example). But love between two adults – it’s just love.
I often do the same! As a contracts person, I’ll say “love is love!” and then go, “Wait, I know you understand this, but I’m referring to consensual love between adult human beings!” Usually the speaker understands it, but I feel better clarifying.
But love between two adults – it’s just love.
This.
If I could express the same feelings half as beautifully as you did here, Deb, I would! Instead, I’ll just say I am so VERY happy you have such a loving extended family.
Thank you. Me too, me too. (>^^)>
There was a wordstorm a-brewin’ from the moment I saw that poster. The signs were too subtle for me to realize that’s what was happening originally, but from the moment it hit me that’s what was up, the storm had to be allowed to pass through my fingertips.
When I read it, I breathed a sigh of relief. Before I started typing, I thought it would be impossible to translate that feeling to words. But I’d said it as well as I could hope to, and so I sent it to Stu so she could see my feelings. She gave me the go-ahead to post it, and that, too was freeing.
It is a beautiful thing to let this kite fly.
Eloquent and poignant. A wonderful tribute to your two friends.
Thank you, Lenore. I feel so blessed.
Great post and it makes me so happy to see all this positivity for natural love while all the politics coming up are trying to turn back progress. I am so very grateful for straight allies who stand with us and our loving relationships. Thanks for this post !
Thank you so much for reading it, and sharing your thoughts! I hope we’re on the verge of a turning point, where love between consenting adults is recognized for what it is: a blessing.
Li’l D totally scored on the godmother front. You not only have some great friends, but a great way with words. This is an excellent post. I just spent my dinner break with one of my friends and her wife. Sometimes when I’m in New York I can forget for a time the hatred, fear, and lack of understanding that is more prevalent in other places. I hope that some day every place will be a place where it’s love, just love.
Re: “great way with words”? Thank you!
I couldn’t agree more about Li’l D scoring on the godmother front! Sometimes I think back to those days where much younger versions of ourselves took martial arts together and am tickled to imagine that all of that was leading here.
I share your hope, too. So much. I wish that day could be today, or tomorrow, but I’m hopeful (with some cause) for the coming generations.
Tears are streaming down my face. A friend of mine sent this poster to me on Facebook this week and it reminded me of a neighbor I used to have who came to my door petitioning against gay marriage. He told me that it was ruining my marriage. If, by ruining my marriage, he meant that it would expose the stupidity behind such discrimination, then, by all means, ruin away! We should all be free to love and live without judgement.
I pray for the day we are “free to love and live without judgment.” So beautifully put.
I always tell Li’l D I want him to be happy . . . so long as that happiness doesn’t come at someone else’s expense. It’s interesting to revisit this in light of the anecdote about your neighbor. I can’t believe I didn’t see this before, but this ludicrous “destruction of the sanctity” of marriage argument is all about trying to create a victim; what’s a crime without a victim?
Such an interesting and saddening act of deflection, that. I hope we’ll as a whole ignore the deflection and look more clearly to the bare truth that greater wrongs by far are worked by denying this freedom than by granting it.
I love this so much. I, too, have several close friends who are the kindest, most loving people I have ever known. These two women have raised five fantastic children, and they inspire me with their love. They love each other and have endured much to love each other. I wish everyone knew people like my Mary and Maggie or your Stu & Terri; I don’t think anyone would dare begrudge them a marriage certificate. Beautiful, Deb. And perfect post for Yom Kippur.
I wish everyone knew people like my Mary and Maggie or your Stu & Terri; I don’t think anyone would dare begrudge them a marriage certificate.
These words have lingered in my mind since I read them. I wish this, too. I feel like seeing these living, breathing examples would almost certainly override pictures that have been painted with hurtful words alone.
Thank you, for your comment here and a lovely conversation. ♥
Yes, very well written. I just love the way you write, thank you for this!
Thank you for stopping by–and saying so!
Beautifully written. Love comes in all shapes and colours. It’s only up to up, the human race to accept that love is truly love and it is only we within ourselves that can define that. We must not look at others and define or judge what they believe is love, that my friends is what becomes sinful.
As Bob Marley sang: ‘One love, one heart, let’s get together and feel alright.’
(I hope those lyrics are the correct words, just kinda popped into my head.)
Exactly so! Your words remind me of something I’ve heard about peoples’ role in judging:
“It’s G-d’s job to judge; mine is only to love.”
How can any of us think we know enough to judge (purportedly) on behalf of G-d?
This is just wonderful – Stu & Terri are wonderful. I really, really liked the ‘I didn’t have gay lunch, just lunch’ etc. I never contemplated that – but it’s so true. Yes, not gay marriage – just marriage. Great post.
I’d never contemplated it in that light before, either; after I’d read it, it seemed perplexing that I hadn’t! I’m so grateful to have been given a different angle from which to view this set of questions.
Thank you, and agreed re: Stu and Terri. I feel so blessed. ♥
Incredibly moving tribute to friendship and tolerance, young woman. Well done.
Thanks, Hook! It felt good to release this through words, and then to truly set it free.
Beautiful post! Thank you.
Thank you–for reading, for saying so, and for tweeting it, too! Much obliged. ♥
You rock my world! I always love it when more and more people speak up for the cause of others. Specially because your word to society has been given more validity since you’re not preaching out for your own agenda.
Maybe one day same-sex relationships will be so normal that we’ll look back in time and feel happy we’ve moved forward.
Thank you for writing this,
-MTO
Thank you!
I dream that someday Li’l D’s grandchildren will think he’s joking when he says, “Can you believe men weren’t allowed to marry men, or women to marry women?” And his grandkids will say with wide eyes, “You’re pulling our legs, grampa! That’s the most ridiculous thing we’ve ever heard!”
I’d love it to someday seem ridiculous, and yet for people to remember that there was a time it was a travesty people lived. That kind of thinking helps, I believe, open eyes to other travesties ongoing in the world.
Couldn’t agree more!
-MTO
Love love LOVE this post! Amen to everything you said and to that poster.
Thanks, lady! ♥
I’m so grateful to that poster opening my eyes! That’s the magic of words, eh? Insight into perspectives we mightn’t have found on our own!
I wonder how we will explain to the next generations how we, as a society, justified denying rights to homosexuals. How we’ll word the explanation that a lot of people were afraid, literally afraid, of allowing homosexuals to be married to one another.
I wonder that, too. I have no idea how that explanation could possibly be given in a way that could make sense. Maybe that lack of explanation will be the only one they’ll need to guide them toward making better choices based on better criteria? Here is hoping!
Former Ex-Gay Program Director Admits: I Never Met a Man Who Changed From Homosexual to Heterosexual
In a blog article published this week, John Smid, former executive director of the well-known ex-gay program ‘Love in Action’ admits that after 22 years as executive director of the program, “I’ve never met a man who experienced a change from homosexual to heterosexual.” Pertaining to his own ‘change’, he says, “Nothing I did seemed to change me into a heterosexual even though I was in a marriage that included heterosexual behavior.” He says, “This is a very tough issue” and admits, “I am trudging through some very deep waters trying to better understand God’s heart on this matter… This is so different than I always thought in my small world of ex-gay ministry. And yes, it was a small world because I made it small. I was completely unwilling to hear anything that didn’t fit my paradigm. I blocked out anyone’s life story or biblical teaching that didn’t match up with what I believed.”
Link: http://wp.me/1tsIE
-Alex Haiken
http://JewishChristianGay.wordpress.com
God, there were a lot of comments and I sped through them so if I missed this, I’m sorry… or maybe it was in another post and I missed that. Somewhere, someone said something or did something that triggered this, Deb, and that’s what I’ve missed here. I feel lost without the context.
I know this:
Whoever attaches the words “perverse” or “sinful” to the life and love of another is a sinful pervert by definition of their own action. It takes one to know one is maybe a little too cliche for what I mean, but it’s close.
In the Bible, there is written a mystery in some symbols Jesus drew in the dirt. One day that mystery will be revealed and the perverted and sinful are going to be greatly shocked and stunned by its revelation.
The context is somewhat hidden in the caption of the image at the bottom of the post:
This post’s inspiration, as found on the Straight People for Gay Marriage Facebook page
After posting the image to my personal page, the image kept occupying space in my brain until it finally occurred to me I had to write something. That’s how most my non-silly posts get written. A wordstorm starts a-brewin’ and I can only temper it by writing it out.
When I couldn’t sleep after a horrible nightmare a few weeks ago, I looked up quotations by Jesus. I actually woke Ba.D. up and asked, “Did you know he said this? And this? Neat!” (Ba.D.’s response? “Yes, Deb, I’m a Christian, remember?” Hee.)
One of the things I read was Jesus saying something about how all would be happier if each focused on living his own life, and spent less time worrying about (or controlling) others’ lives. I can and do say a loud “amen!” to that.
Thanks! It was a great post either way, but it feels better now.
I don’t know if I shared my closet monsters with you or not. I wanted to but I think I might have been a little shy.
And yes… Amen!
Dear Deborah,
That was a great post on several levels. The writing was seamless and spot on, the message wonderful and the response elicited in the comments sections was heartwarming.
I checked the link to the ‘What would you do?’ episode and cried at the way people came to the couples defense. Thanks for sharing that.
I was fortunate to be raised by non-judgemental parents and to never have to have shaken off the chains of habit and predjudice regarding race, creed, or sexual orientation issues. It’s going to take time, but attitudes will, and are, changing and the time will come when humans are far more enlightened. Your well rendered portrait of ‘Love’ was beautiful and will hasten that day.
Aloha,
Doug
Aloha, Doug!
It made me so happy that you signed off with that. I’m teased (fondly) at my office for greeting people with variants of hello, from “aloha” to “n’hey-hey.” I believe you are probably better situated to say the former without being teased–is this correct?
If that made me happy, it was a peanut butter cup to the whole comment’s cupcake. Thank you for your kind words–here and on Twitter–about my writing and the force behind it. I, too, cried at that video, which I’ve easily watched a half-dozen times now.
Every time I picture that patron disappearing, then returning to deposit that letter on the table, I get choked up again.
*dabs eyes*
I, too, was lucky to be raised by a mom who taught the importance of compassion and empathy. I wish the lesson hadn’t been so hard learned by her, but I’m grateful to have benefited from it in this way.
I am so glad our paths crossed.
Aloha,
Deb
Hi Deb,
I use Aloha most of the time. It says exactly what I feel.
Went to Amazon and looked up Easy travel to Other Planets and read the first few pages again. Thought once more of you.
Writing pulls at me like a hawk feeding. I am its prey and helpless in the grip of its talons. At times I wish that I was not, but it’s too late for those thoughts. I keep at it because I want to leave a gift for my son when he is older.
When I read something that moves me I try to let the author know and to tell others. It’s what I’d want to have happen if the situation was reversed. Time is not my enemy, but neither is it on my side. You have a gift and I believe you are using it well and early. Good for you. Your son is a lucky boy who will grow into a fine man one day. I hope I’m around to hear about it. Keep going, Deb, and if there’s ever anything I can do to help. Let me know. I’ll be here letting the hawk feed.
Do you know what A Hui Hou means? (Goodbye until we meet again.)
Aloha and A Hui Hou, Deb.
Yours,
Doug
I saw that poster and loved it. People spend far too much time picking at others, and I presume that stems from some deep unhappiness in themselves. Love is love is love
I think you’re absolutely right about the source of it! Reading this comment gets me so excited to share your further thoughts on the matter via your FTIAT entry. I suddenly wish I could fast forward time!
How wonderful that you and your son share such special friends! Gay people are nice and loving, or mean and hateful, just like straights. People are people in all of our glory and dirt, and there’s no room in this life for hate.
Exactly so! I feel so blessed.
Do you watch The Big Bang Theory? The most recent episode was probably one of my favorite episodes yet. The lead actress said something to the effect of: “Disabled people are nice. Everyone knows that!”
I was glad I wasn’t drinking something at just that moment, because my keyboard would’ve been ruined. People are people, as it happens.
There’s a commercial I’ll link here if I can find it.
But, to what you said? Yes. All of it.
Oh, Deb..I just loved this post! I thought it was the perfect way to celebrate the purity of love, in any form.
Thank you, Lou! I love how sweetly and succinctly you state that: “the purity of love.” ♥
Don’t know if that worked… All I wanted to say was AWESOME POST!!!!!!
Thank you for saying so! ♥
Thank you for your powerful words. As someone with a family very full of queerness, this issue is near and dear to my heart. I’ve every confidence that one day, folks will look back on this debate much the way we now look back at Jim Crow, but sadly, we aren’t there yet.
Thank you for taking time out to read this, and then to say so. I’m grateful. Like you, I delight at the thought of that (hopefully near) day that it seems impossible we could have built such unbelievable barriers between people, so recently.
I love, love the poster! This post is EXCELLENT!! Lil’ D is lucky to have such loving Godparents and you’re lucky to have such loving friends. I’m very fortunate to have lived, for 20 years in an area with a very large gay population. This meant that my daughters and the majority of their peers grew up not thinking twice about whether a couple was hetero or homosexual; both have always been the norm for them. I wish everyone could grow up realizing that love is love.
Thanks, Sprinkles! I love how you’ve described your area, and the impact it’s had on your daughters. I feel so excited to know that will be the experience Li’l D has, as well.
I feel so lucky. So, so, so very lucky. As I type this, in fact, Li’l D’s begun snoring, and listening to that innocuous sound enhances that feeling like no music could ever do. ♥
I so so wish I still lived in the same area, but the real estate prices were way too high for G and I to afford a home there when we got married, so we moved to a town about 15 miles away. Oh, what a difference 15 miles makes! (I think my one neighbor might be in the klan–and I’m not joking. Some areas of my state are very intolerant.)
Sniff. Lumpy throat, teary eyes. We met our own Stu & Terri, who have a little boy exactly one week younger than Lilah, when they became our neighbors a year ago. At least I think they are on their way to becoming our Stu & Terri.
I posted that same banner to my own FB page a while ago because it really resonated with me. Love is love. And this little family has so much it is overflowing and they can’t help but be amazing friends, neighbors, and most importantly, mothers to their little boy.
I ♥ this so much.
I wish we could somehow telepathically transmit these images, feelings and sensations to people who haven’t seen how very right and beautiful it is.
You couldn’t have said it better… Love is love and we are all entitled to enjoy it anyway we wish. I love that poster too. TY!
Finally catching up on comments. Phew!
“Love is love.” They’re three such simple words, I’m often amazed at how hard it is for us as a people to live them.
Wonderful post. You’re lucky to have people like that in your life. Love is love, no matter who it comes from, it is the same essence. The picture/quote at the end made me laugh!
Thank you! Agreed, too; I feel blessed and lucky every day these days. ♥
Took me a few days to get to it, but I am so glad I did. Beautiful. Love is love.
Thanks, Karin–both for the comment, and for sharing the post! ♥
Beautiful. Though I admit to being shocked… I totally thought Stu and Terri were two guys! (It’s possibly I don’t pay enough attention to pronouns!)
It’s totally not inattention on your part! I didn’t intend that when I started writing, but I realized as I continued that would be my first assumption with those names, too. I decided that worked in the context of this post!
Beautiful post. Beautiful people you have in your life. You are blessed!
I truly, indisputably am! Thank you so much for reading, and sharing your thoughts. I hope you, too, are blessed!
Nicely put. I’ve worked in the arts for so long, I sometimes forget that it’s not “normal” for everyone. *sigh*
I hear that. I understood where the DJs were coming from. Living in Los Angeles, it’s nigh unfathomable some days that there remains such a level of hate. And yet, I drive to Orange County almost every weekday, and have been faced numerous times with open scowls and squinty-faced rage after people see the sticker on the front of my car. That just made me feel it’s all the more important to have it there.
First and foremost as a human being, second as a bisexual, and third as the niece of two aunts who cannot live in the Unites States because gay marriage is still not federal and one of them isn’t American and so can’t get a visa here – as all these things, thank you for this post.
one of them isn’t American and so can’t get a visa here
This absolutely breaks my heart. I hope so fiercely that we are at the beginning of a change wherein, 20 years from now, Li’l D and his friends read relics such as these comments and shake their head in bemusement. Part of me hopes that they’ll laugh at the ridiculousness of it, but the other part hopes that they don’t, because they understand how deeply wrong it was and don’t want to diminish that.
All love is sacred and bless… Follow the path.
Amen to that!
I couldn’t possibly agree with you more. Its one of the issues I get most fired up. Why does anyone think they have the authority to decide whether or not two people’s love is good enough?
Just beautiful. And right on.
Deb, Deb, Deb … I can’t really say what I want to say any better than k8edid did above! You do have a genuine gift, and the fact that you choose to share that gift and do it so eloquently keeps me coming back. I am truly very happy to have crossed paths with you.
I am a firm believer in the idea that when you love another person, it is the person, the individual, the spirit, the soul, the heart, the mind of that person that attracts you. It makes no whit of difference if they are male or female. It takes a lot of people by surprise when they finally realize this.
ttyl, Victoria
Loved this post the first time around, and I love it even more today. Can’t wait to live in a world where people celebrate ALL love instead of judging it.
I live in North Carolina where an amendment was just passed defining marriage as being between a man and a woman. It was already illegal for my partner and I to marry in this state, and I knew the chances of defeating the amendment’s passage were slim, but it still upset me on an unexpected level. I’m older, tough-skinned (jaded I tell myself). But maybe not so much. Maybe I’ve just insulated myself because we are fortunate to have loving supportive people in our lives. I’m glad your friends have you. Thanks for the lovely post.